To The Barricades

Before the French referendum result was known the would be grandees of the Imperial Federal European Superstate Empire tried to threaten us. “Votez ‘non’ et Europe est banjaxed” they warned. A no vote in any of the member states would wreck the constitution treaty we were promised. Almost as soon as the French “Non” was announced slippery tongues eurorats were saying “ah………..well, when we said dead we meant the constitution is not dead, but that we shall have to think again about how we will move forward. We need a new road maps to integration. Politicians are keen on road maps.
What the evasive and obfuscative weasel words are actually saying of course is “if you will not volunteer to give up your hard won rights and freedoms we will just take them off you.

I have always been a supporter of international co-operation, freedom from border controls, duty free drinks etc. but I have always believed Ken Livingstone’s maxim “if voting changed anything they would abolish it. When a referendum on a question of national importance does not deliver the right answer is not telling to voters to go through the whole process again until they get it right the same as abolishing the democratic vote?

What the French vote ought to have changed is the transition of the European Union from a loose affiliation of independent nations to a federal superstate. What it looks likely to change is our perception that the voice of the people counts for something. Our only hope is the traditional bloody mindedness of the French. You can bet if M. Chirac tries to wriggle out of the corner the vote has put him in, the French farmers and lorry drivers will be blocking the ports and motorways, French cooks will be looking up recipes for fricassee du rat avec champignons and burly, bearded housewives in Gascony will be manning the barricades.

Would we do the same I wonder if Blair tried to ignore a British “No” or worse, if he now engages in political jiggery – pokery in order to deny us the right to vote. We need a referendum in order to find out if British bloody mindedness is a spent force.

Over the past few decades we have surrendered our position in the world in so many areas that I fear our natural leadership of the global awkward squad has been usurped. Are we truly so enslaved by our mortgages that we will stand by and allow Les Crapauds to block the route to bureaucratic dictatorship?

It is our job to offer resolute resistance while the French run around collaborating. The French are always collaborating with somebody, the Scots, the Americans, the Spanish. French obstinacy is of a lower calibre because it always serves French interests. The Bulldog breed are obstinate on principle, we seek no gain, our intransigence is for the greatest good of the greatest number. The “No” that dismantles the European Constitution is Britain’s by right. No sneaky, nasal NON from the perfidious French will do for this job, only a resounding British NO will be heard around the globe. And the message it will give to tyrants is this; “we have shafted ourselves and now we can shaft you.”

To the barricades my countrymen, we will reclaim the NO that is our birthright. We must blockade the ports and airports to prevent supplies of soft, smelly cheese from flooding British markets while the honest cheesemakers of Cheddar and their families starve. We must put the French in their place for all time and if that means battering their baguettes to breadcrumbs, widdling in their wine vats and putting paid to their pate then so be it. There is only room in Europe for one bunch of really awkward bastards.

After we have routed their foppish food we may have to retaliate with Anglo Saxon grub, we should batter them with Yorkshire Pudding, hurl hot pots from a mangonel* and if necessary show them our Spotted Dicks.
Albion must prevail unless we want to see Europeanisation in our back yard.


*Mangonel, a medieval seige weapon for hurling stones, fireballs, dead animals and poo over the walls of the beseiged citadel.

EU Constitution
News report
And who better to talk about a spotted dick than old let’s be ‘avin you herself
We are not biased of course, and to prove it here’s
a link to French Cheese


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