At Boggart Blog we are naturally always very interested in water because boggarts are dependent on H2O for their existence. So whenever we hear about water shortages we pay special attention. The strange thing is, we cant see any shortage. So it must be a scam.
The Boggart supreme council have discussed this and we reckon they have a plan to make nasty greeny – brown stuff come out of taps so we will all be forced to rush out and buy bottled water when we are already paying for our tap water. Now there is nothing wrong with tap water (except around London.) Tap water is pure and clean and very good for you (except around London) so why do we want to rush out and buy natural spring water from the volcanic hills of Ruritania which is more like London tap water than London tap water is like tap water from anywhere else.
The problem with Ruritanian natural spring water from the volcanic hills is that ten million volcanic sheep have pissed in it. OK, so it has been dribbling down through volcanic rock (which is full of sulphur and shit) for a thousand years but is thousand year old sheep piss any better than fresh sheep piss.
London water is all recycled of course, so ten million people have pissed in it quite recently. Including Pete Doherty.
But back to the scam. If there is a so much good water coming out of the taps why are the water companies trying to panic us into buying bottled water.
Well it may just be a coincidence but most of our public utility companies that supply water to our taps are owned by French companies. The same French companies as supply expensive diluted bottle sheep piss to supermarkets.
You will be happy to know Boggart Blog has assigned its entire team of Boggart undercover underwater investigative reporters to monitor water scams throughout the summer.