An Inspirational Old Queen

Although she died in 2002 The Queen Mother (God Bless Her) is still managing to be an inspiration to us all. Especially, it turns out, to the binge drinkers amongst us.

A new book out this week, written by the Queen Mum’s former butler or equerry or chief cook and bottle washer reveals that is spite of her only being fourteen inches tall the old girl was a formidable piss artist consuming on average more than the nanny state’s recommended weekly intake for women per day!

Her drinking day began with a pre lunch aperitif, a gin and Dubonnet which, as the quick witted will immediately realise, is actually two drinks. Lunch itself was accompanied by wine and finished off with a glass of port. At least five units down the hatch and the sun is only just over the yardarm. Naval terminology is appropriate here as the QM was Lord Admiral of the “Cinque Ports” (or was that “sinks port”?)

Wine was an essential accompaniment for all meals at Clarence House. A doctor once suggested that in order to help reduce her consumption she should drink water at the table.

“Water,” she replied, “isn’t that the stuff fish fuck in?” Actually that is not true, it was Hollywood comedian W.C. Fields who said those words, but I think its funny and Boggart Blog never sacrifices a joke for the sake of the truth.

An afternoon nap helped see off the effects of the lunch session and then old Lizzie was ready for her “golden hour” as she called it, cocktails at six. Properly mixed Martinis are another three units which was ideal preparation for dinner which came with more wine and port. After that the old dear would get into the day’s serious drinking, shots of gin usually, or brandy sometimes.

There are more and more signs emerging that the nanny state is planning a campaign to demonise drink similar to the one that made pariahs of tobacco smokers so we should all take heart from and follow the example of the QM. Medics may say that excessive drinking shortens life but if death aged one hundred and one is premature , I’ll settle for it.

11 thoughts on “An Inspirational Old Queen

  1. I could have sworn in the years coming up to HRHTQM’s actual death, that she was already deceased, what with the cadaverous nature of the pictures put out of her by the press.

    And here’s me thinking her fave tipple used to be milk stout – or was that Ena Sharples? My television memory blurs the two.
    – Oh no sorry, it was champagne shandies – and lots of em!

    In her case being top dog royalty meant you get yer money for nuttin’ & yer drink for free.

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    • Yeah well, as I was stuck for a post and knew I’d be away over the weekend I decided to be a bit kind to a member of the royals for once.
      Audio blog coming up is a sketchlette picking up on the story of how a Geordie woman who had a stroke woke up speaking with a Jamaicanm accent I reveal how after one of Princess Margarets strokes she woke up speaking with a Geordie accent.
      But Teri can’t do Geodie accents so I’l have to do a female voice and a Geordie accent at the same time. It’ll be a bugger.

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    • Trouble is with QM and Princess Margaret it was always a lot of what they fancied. And with Princess Margaret that included booze, ciggies, hash, speed and rough trade apparently.

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  2. Gawd Bless her. Life is not the same without the successive stories of her swallowing fish bones, gambling the country away etc etc.

    She is sorely missed

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