Natural Law

too tired to do an original post today – fortunately someone sent me this, which will have to do.

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath :
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last..

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law:
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it..

6 thoughts on “Natural Law

    • A few of them are a bit off the mark. Law of the workshop for example. In my experience when you drop a tool it will land on your foot. And the only tools people ever drop are hammers.

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  1. About 6 years back I bought a new pair of shoes – Hush Puppies to be exact. Only they’d forgotten to put the hush in the puppies on this particular pair.

    Day in day out – when they were laced onto my feet anyway – with the slightest step they would sqeek away sqeek away like two rampant fieldmice were concealed in the heels. Apparently, in the exciting world of shoe sales, they do say it’s a sure fire sign they have been nicked. I got tired of the sarcasm and took them back (with me in them) to the shop for a full refund.
    As soon as I entered the place I attempted a demonstration to the shop manageress by striding out over the carpet. You guessed it – not a sound out of them.
    Dam it to hell, life is one big conspiracy to do our heads in. And it never ever fails does it.

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