A Couple of Smiles Before It Gets Even More Painful

greenteeth Uncategorized

Almost at the end of a month of bad and sad news; Iraq, Afghanistan, the Financial Markets, the environment and the death of Desert Orchid being just a few topics, its nice to hear something jolly.
So I enjoyed the story of the Surrey lady who while visiting the North East went into a hairdressers in Newcastle and asked “Could you do me a perm please.”
“Why aye pet,” came the reply, “I wandered lernley as a clerd…”
All in all its like the story of the northerner who took holy orders and was appointed vicar of an Anglican parish in Surrey.
When he arrived at his church the verger said “I’m sorry about the state of the place, we have a problem with the myrrh.”
“The myrrh?” said the new vicar, “I didn’t know you were high church.”
“We’re not,” the verger said, “but what has that to do with cutting the grass?”

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11 thoughts on “A Couple of Smiles Before It Gets Even More Painful”

  1. ROL! It’s the way you blog em’!!

    I suppose you must know the classic coitus-interruptus dialogue between the bishop and the hooker.. . .

    Hooker. “God, you’ve got a small organ”
    Bishop. “Well it’s never played in a cathedral before”

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  2. Lovely story.

    Remember once in a laundrette in Birmingham a lady asked me if I’d lost my “toy”. Though I was a youngish looking twentysomething, (self flattery) I certainly looked old enough to be past the age of toys.

    After a few moments of blank faced incomprehension on my part, the lady waved a tie at me

    “Is this your toy?”

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  4. Woman joins a convent and is told that as it is a silent order, she may not speak.

    After five years service, the priest meets with her.

    “Sister, it has been five years since you joined. You may say two words”.

    “Hard bed.” She replies.

    “I’m sorry about that,” says the priest. “I’ll have a better mattress supplied to you as soon as I can.”

    Five more years go by, and she’s brought to the priest again.

    “Sister, you have been with us ten years now, and you may say two more words.”

    “Cold food.” She replies.

    “I’m sorry to hear that,” says the priest “I’ll have a word with Mother Superior about the catering immediately.”.

    Five more years go by and she’s asked to another meeting where she can say two more words.

    “I quit.” she says.

    “It’s probably for the best,” says the priest. “You’ve done fuck all but complain since you got here.”

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