dead_bodyparts_online.com

One would think the ordering of furniture online from e-bay would be a low risk venture. Sure, mistakes will sometimes happen and there are some unscrupulous traders who will bill your credit card, make an excuse to delay delivery and the disappear with your dosh. But though such instances my be infuriating they are not really traumatic. Not as traumatic for example as ordering a flat pack table and receiving a stiff or several small parts of one.
Hold hard Boggart, you are thinking, spare us your sick comic fantasies, its nearly dinner time and such a thing could never really happen.
But that is just what happened to Frank and Ludivine Larmande of Grand Rapids Michigan when they ordered a flat pack table from a store that sells through e-bay.
A few days after the order was placed two packages arrived and Frank eagerly began to rip the bubble wrap off the first and said to his wife “this is strange, it looks like a liver.”
Ludivine removed part of the wrapping on the smaller package to reveal part of an ear.
“As soon as we saw that we knew something was not right,” Mrs. Larmande told Grand Rapids Press.
In the circumstances you have to admire her talent for understatement.

NB: The ear and liver, thought to have been culled from a chinese corpse, had been plastinated (preserved in a plastic coating) for use in schools and colleges.

9 thoughts on “dead_bodyparts_online.com

  1. Oh good grief. WHY would you advertise them as FURNITURE though? Unless this is a company which sells both, and got the delivery addresses mixed up?!

    God bless xx

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    • I never got round to be bit where e-bay said they could not understand how it had happened (prolly a glitch on the database) but as you know Boggart Blog is only interested in the humourous potential of a story. I don’t do ethical jouranalism unless I’m getting paid.

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      • I dunno, have never bought it (rah rah). I did go through an NOTW phase aged 14-15 though (boo hiss). I think I liked the salacious sex, and I found the papers a while back and discovered it wasn’t as right wing when Piers (not Pires… Arsenal RSI!) Morgan was in charge…

        God bless xx

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      • The NOW is tame these days, when I was 14-15 although there were no tits the court reports of divorce cases were really smutty. It was easy to interpret the euphemisms; when “intimacy took place” it meant full penetration, “an intimate act” was a hand job, “an obscene act” was oral and “an illegal act” usually involved two men but could involve a man and a woman.
        Course I had the inside track, Dad worked for the Express then (after the highbrow News Chronicle had folded.) He did not tell me this stuff himself but when I went to the office for a lift home I used to earwig the young blokes.

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      • At this point I made my excuses and left…

        (this is what NoW reporters on “Sex in the Suburbs” expose -there should be an accent on that but the text editor is being a Francophobe – assignments used to say when they meant “I gave her my money and did the business.”)

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