Flushing Social Staus Down The Toilet

Little Katie Middleton is not good enough to become part of a family descended from impoverished German immigrants it seems, even though after eight generations some of the people have still not properly mastered the vowel Or vile should we say?) sounds of the English language. (NB its mastered not marstered OK you monarchy fans.) Apparently her unacceptability is due to the fact that her mother says “toilet” which makes the family too common to mix with the Royals.
The upper middle class, of which the Royal family is part (let’s not insult the proper toffs who in my experience are foul mouthed, drunken, libidnious degenerates, its the middle classes who have the hang ups.) never use the toilet because it is common. There delicate sensibilities insist that they only use lavatories which is tough if you need a dump becausde the lav. is very specifically for washing.
Similarly upper middled class bottoms cannot sit on a settee or couch, only a sofa will do for them. Well I suppose when your farts smell of Yardley’s English Lavender your arse is entitled to be picky.
Woe betide one also if when visited by a member of the middle class one has tomatoes in the fridge. Tomatoes are so common people of the haughtiest particularity will not give them houseroom. This is not an issue for the working class who al;ways buy tomarters of course, nor does it bother the toffs who don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of them and will fill their fridge with anything they choose.
Not that you could be ostracised by the gorf (not golf, that is for common people) club committe for serving tomatoes with a meal. The middle classes would never accept your invitation to a meal, meals are common.
No wonder Posh Spice is anorexic, better to lose muscle tissue than to lose face.
The Middle Classes have to create all these stupid social conventions of course because they have no style. It is impossible to have style while living in terminal fear on embarrassment.
Embarrassment is what the middle classes fear most so they take refuge in being seen to do the correct thing. Which is always very different from doing the right thing.

You’re well out of it Katie girl, all that was waitijng for you down that road was the life of a brood mare and and ending in a Paris underpass.
Go out now and get a life.

5 thoughts on “Flushing Social Staus Down The Toilet

    • Well had I not been introduced to all these “rules” by a former “special friend” Liz (Lady Elizabeth to you) I might have been more sceptical even though I read it in The Guardian (in an article by that posh bird who does the Ladette to Lady programme)

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