Fat City Arizona

The government has come up with yet another brilliant plan, this time to combat child obesity. They are going to write to the parents of fat children to tell them their kids are fat! That’s going to work then.
Thanks to Jenny, BoggartBlog has been able to make a fly on the wall documentary at the home of the Lardarse family.

“Ere, Wayne, we’ve got a le’er from the govnment.”
“Wot’s it say Krystal?”
“Ang on, let me look, it says our Cherryade is obees.
Wot a cheek, she ain’t obees. She jus got a bit of puppy fat is all. They always interfearing them govnment people.”
“Wahh, wahh, sniff, wahh.”
“Ere Cherryade darlin, wots the matter. Wot you cryin for?”
“Sniff, them kids at school, sniff, they call me a fatty, sniff wahh”
“You ain’t fat darlin, you cuddly, ain’t that rite Dad, she’s not fat she’s just cuddly!”
“Yeah come ere my little spacehopper, let’s go and have a KFC family meal for ten, just the three of us, with extra fries and a gallon of coke. That’ll make you feel better eh? That’ll stop you cryin won’t it love?”

And so we leave the Lardarse house, secure in the knowledge that the Government’s letter has shown Mr and Mrs Lardarse the error of their ways and encouraged them to put little Cherryade on a low fat, low sugar high fibre diet.

4 thoughts on “Fat City Arizona

  1. Appearing at a MacDonald’s near you I should think.
    I’m always quite gobsmacked by the way parents of fat girls, in particular, allow them to dress. They don’t see anytthing wrong in encasing the poor large mite in flourescent pink lycra tops and tights with a skintight lime green mini skirt. Although terribly unprofessional ‘the little space hopper’ was a nick name used by staff when talking about a particular young lady at one of the primary schools I visited.
    There was also Chantelle, who must have weighed at least nine stone by the time she was nine, whose mother thought it was appropriate to send her to school in black calf length leggings and crocheted crop tops complete with innumerable rolls of flab protuding palely between the two items. Mum’s response when challenged was that these clothes were comfortable… only for Chantelle and not the poor teachers, CSAs and other pupils who had to put up with the undulating liquorice allsort in the classroom.

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    • OMG did you see that girlf from Ramsbottom on The X Factor. Not only did her parents fail to see she had weight “issues,” they were unaware she needed “help” and were utterly convinced she could sing.

      It was cruel showing them on tele, but the parents? What were they thinking when they encouraged her and what planet are they living on. Well yeah, I know they’re from Ramsbottom but…

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  2. Apparently it’s something to do with thoptimist gene. We are programmed to look for the best in everything, so we never see things as bad as they are. When this programming goes wrong you get anorexics.

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