The government has come up with yet another brilliant plan, this time to combat child obesity. They are going to write to the parents of fat children to tell them their kids are fat! That’s going to work then.
Thanks to Jenny, BoggartBlog has been able to make a fly on the wall documentary at the home of the Lardarse family.
“Ere, Wayne, we’ve got a le’er from the govnment.”
“Wot’s it say Krystal?”
“Ang on, let me look, it says our Cherryade is obees.
Wot a cheek, she ain’t obees. She jus got a bit of puppy fat is all. They always interfearing them govnment people.”
“Wahh, wahh, sniff, wahh.”
“Ere Cherryade darlin, wots the matter. Wot you cryin for?”
“Sniff, them kids at school, sniff, they call me a fatty, sniff wahh”
“You ain’t fat darlin, you cuddly, ain’t that rite Dad, she’s not fat she’s just cuddly!”
“Yeah come ere my little spacehopper, let’s go and have a KFC family meal for ten, just the three of us, with extra fries and a gallon of coke. That’ll make you feel better eh? That’ll stop you cryin won’t it love?”
And so we leave the Lardarse house, secure in the knowledge that the Government’s letter has shown Mr and Mrs Lardarse the error of their ways and encouraged them to put little Cherryade on a low fat, low sugar high fibre diet.