You Couldn’t Make It Up # 3791: Scientology.

Note from Boggart Blog’s Chief Ectoplasmic Officer Jenny Greenteeth: Sometimes a story comes in that are just so made for Ian’s style of insane ramblings we can do nothing but let him loose – JG.

We heard the news through one of the nuttier radio stations Mrs. Thorpe tunes into that Tom Cruise is threatening to sue Andrew Morton, an author who specialises is unofficial biographies of the loonier fringe of the celebrity world.
Superstar Scientologist Tom Cruise (4’6”) is considering suing the writer and his publishers over allegations that the child Cruise claims he fathered on second wife Kelly (6’4”) is not their natural child but in fact was conceived from the frozen sperm of failed sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of the evil mind control cult of Scientology.
Regular readers may remember from earlier Boggart Blog posts concerning the evil cult of Scientology that followers are required to believe L. Ron Hubbard was in psychic contact with Lord Xena the Warrior Princes or something like that, evil overlord of the Thetans a race of alien superbeings who, having been thrown out of the Intergalactic Federation for interbreeding with primitive lifeforms, came to Earth and waited sisty million or so years until humans evolved so they could get jiggy with cavewomen (Genesis 6:1.)
Now the people who feel called to join the scientology cult and get in touch with their inner Thetan can be admitted to the secrets of the inner sanctum of scientology by completing a rigorous training course which involves paying the cult $350,000. Once admitted to the higher echelons, scientologists learn how they can live forever and are granted super powers like comic book heroes.
The Church of Scientology is very hot on controlling the reproductive processes of its members. Nicole Kidman (7’6”) the first wife of midget megastar Cruise became pregnant twice during their marriage but neither pregnancy went to full term. There have been rumours that the Thetans intervened and aborted the pregnancies because Kidman a down to earth Australian was not deemed nutty enough to be mother to a half alien baby.
Cruise’s lawyers deny all of this saying the allegations are too ludicrous to be taken seriously and the actor has not yet made up his mind whether to sue.

We do not suppose their is any chance of Cruise and the missis taking little Sumi on the Jerry Springer show for a DNA test.

MORE new houmour every day from Boggart Blog

6 thoughts on “You Couldn’t Make It Up # 3791: Scientology.

  1. …But Some Of Us Are Looking At The Stars…Every now and then we will post a blog on the weirder side of life; the latest UFO sightings (Turd Nine From Outer Space) cases of Alien Abduction, reports of the Amoeba Contabulae in Did You See That, said to be the inspiration for H. P. Lovecraft’s C…

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s