Who Will Relight The Olympic Flame?

The action in Beijing is starting to spread itself more thinly as events move toward their climax. As a consequence of this shortage of sport the BBC presenters are getting a tad desperate in their efforts to fill time between interesting bits of action.

Today for example they showed a little retrospective on the fate of athletes expected to win their event who, after having been chosen to ignite the Olympic torch as representative of the host nation and later had their gold medal hopes thwarted by bizarre mishaps. Was there a jinx operating? Probably not but it was good television.

This item was triggered by the unfortunate withdrawal due to injury of China’s superstar hurdler. In turn it kicked off an interesting discussion in the studio. The athlete chosen for the task is meant to be a shining example of the host nation’s youth, and embody their countries hopes, ideals and values.

Eventually the panel’s thoughts turned to who might be selected to light the flame for the 2012 Olympic pageant in London. To whom would the task of representing Britain’s finest and being the symbolic embodiment of our nation fall?

The consensus of opinion pointed towards Amy Winehouse.

The image of Amy, wearing six inch stilettos and her enormous wig as she teeters up to the giant Bunsen Burner, ciggy in mouth, lighter in one hand, bottle of Voddie in the other, out of her head on a drug cocktail that defies chemical analysis would send just the right message from Britain to the world.

We may no longer be a dominant economic or military power, a centre of scientific and technical excellence of a fine example of fairness, justice and good manners.

But we still know how to throw a party.

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World Champion Losers

8 thoughts on “Who Will Relight The Olympic Flame?

    • Think this through, she must be superstrong for her system to cope with all that crap and still allow her to sing.

      Actually I’ve just come from Gather.com where I have a great thread going on Britain’s downsized opening ceremony for including Morris Dancers, The Dagenham Girl Piper, a couple of dog acts and an exhibition of binge drinking followed by synchronised projectile vomiting.

      I must try to kick off something similar here.


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