Boggartblog Christmas Appeal

As Christmas aproaches we at Boggartblog take a special pride in the work we do with our chosen charity, The Fletcher Memorial Home For Seperated Socks and Stockings and the Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Socks.

It is at this time of year that one tends to think about odd stockings and indeed, it is traditional for people to buy a special stocking and hang it from the mantlepiece, where it can enjoy the warmth of the central heating and also be the centre of attention, especially on Christmas morning, when excited children will come rushing downstairs to find what presents have materialised in their stocking.

However we urge all of you out there to think hard before buying one of these specially bred stockings.
Stockings are, by nature, designed to be one of a pair, and even though the intense commercialisation of Christmas has given rise to oversized, brightly coloured items of hosiery, these little fellows, which look cute enough now, will soon be confined to a lonely twelve months at the bottom of the decoration box in the attic.
They will not even have a partner or sole-mate to keep them company through the long sweltering days that represent an insulated loft’s summer climate.
Do you really want your stocking to suffer like that?

Boggartblog suggests that you take a pair of your own socks, or better still, two or more of the odd socks that invariably lurk at the bottom of the washing basket and use these for your Christmas stocking. Let’s face it, unless you have feet the size of Michael Phelp’s, it will be a sight cheaper to fill one of these in these straitened times, and it will also provide an albeit brief sense of purpose in these singular socks’ lives.

Boggartblog also asks that at this time of giving you think of all the socks you have lost or mislayed during the past year. At the Fletcher Memorial and the Greta Garbo homes the staff are dedicated to providing treatment and care for the lost, damaged socks that are brought to us.

£2.50 will pay for laundry for 37 socks of similar colour.

£5.00 will pay for a month’s suply of needles and darning wool, to treat the damaged socks.

£495.99 will provide a bespoke camphor wood drawer, which can provide shelter for 28 single socks and stockings.

Or you can adopt a stocking. Simply arrange a monthly donation by direct debit, and we will choose a sock or stocking to be your very own. You will receive a photo of your stocking and regular updates on it’s progress.

REMEMBER!

A STOCKING IS FOR LIFE, NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS.

RELATED POSTS:
Five Go Round Robin
Christmas Is Bollocks

8 thoughts on “Boggartblog Christmas Appeal

    • Yiour health and safety post on the dangers of women wearing stockings to arouse undersexed partners is a timely warning.

      Where it fell short was in not warning men of the dangers of wearing stockings. Many a wife has returned from a girlie night out and injured hersel laughing on finding hubby dressed in fishnets and her best thong lying on the floor with a broken ankle and looking rudfully at an equally broken stiletto heel.

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  1. At the Technomist Tree-Huggery and Recycling Works we have solved the problem of cruelty to socks by cutting the legs off old trousers (under anaesthetic of course) and sewing up one end. With the skillful use of cosmetic surgery, a foot-like end complete with artificial heel is produced, while the open end is carefully folded over to give a pleasing ‘turned down sock’ appearance.

    The resultant artificial sock is large and robust enough for most responsible Christmas present stuffing needs.

    Note: No fashionable trousers are ever endangered. All operations are regulated by the Ethical Practice Committee for the Recycling of Used Trouser Legs. Such operations may be considered a sin in Catholic countries, but are currently not illegal in the UK.

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  2. Your committment to stockings rights is commendable but even so we feel it is our duty to inform Heather Mills McCartney of your activities. Needless amputation of trouser legs is bound to offend her in some way.

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  3. I am glad you have bought this aspect of stocking use to my attention, I will consider issuing new guidence in due course. It may be necessary to put together a quango at vast expense to the taxpayer.

    Mrs S.

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  4. “…may be necessary…”?

    Absolutely bloody obligatory I should think, a panel of self important people, canvassing opinion and evidence from the general public, writing a report, then meeting again to discuss their findings, drafting a series of proposals which can be submitted to parliamentary scrutiny, then re-convening to write the final draft.
    A good little earner there Mrs S. Go for it!

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