News From The Girls School

A rather unsurprising admission from The Department of Education, Science and Silly Walks informs us that in the secondary school phase of education, which children embark on around the same time as they sprout hairs in funny places and drown in unfamiliar hormones, girls do better in single sex schools. It has been known for many years that at this point in their academic lives girls forge ahead of boys in terms of achievement but it now turns out that relieved of the stress of fighting off spotty little chavs who are only interested in getting inside their knickers girls do even better.

One of the first triumphs of Politically Correct Fascism was the almost total abolition of single gender education in the state sector. It was bad for children to be segregated by gender, reinforced sexist attitudes and condemned women to spend their lives barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen claimed the strident feminists as if co-education was wisdom handed down from the high towers of academia carved on tablets of LSD. Sharing classrooms with girls would help boys overcome their macho, testosterone fuelled tendencies and get in touch with their feminine side. Girls were not allowed to skip metalwork classes while boys were forced to study cooking and sewing. The male allies of the combat suit clad feminists in advancing this agenda were pasty – faced, matchstick thin academics who had formulated their theories, tested them and knew beyond doubt such an approach would work. Education must be approached scientifically if pupils full potential was to be achieved.

The co-educational approach has not worked.

Far from flourishing in the non – sexist, non – racist egalitarian atmosphere of co-ed schools the kids took over. Adolescent boys, already distracted by obsessing about the size of their willies, trying to delude themselves and their mates that the crop of dark specks on their chin were whiskers and not blackheads and hoping mum did not discover their pyjama pants had developed the ability to stand up unaided, were suddenly confronted by the most delightful, fascinating, frightening thing in the world. Girls.

Adolescence is a desperate stage in human development, no less so perhaps for girls than boys but I can only speak from personal experience. Every fourteen year old boy thinks every other boy in his class except the obligatory nerd is cooler than himself. So all the boys try very hard to be cool and only succeed in being even bigger dorks than they imagine themselves to be. At that age boys are also fearful that they are freaks because they have more / less body hair, bigger / smaller nipples or more and much more toxic zits that anyone else. And if they squeeze the zits the wound will fester and flies will lay eggs in it and the maggots will eat their brains and if they don’t squeeze the pustules their head will become a giant carbuncle and if they masturbate they will go blind / stammer / get zits / drain the fluid from their spinal cord and lose the use of their legs. They also worry about their trainers not being as good as anyone else’s, whether they will be ostracised if their mates find out mum only buys Rola Cola instead of The Real Thing and whether they might be gay because a guy in a pink shirt smiled at them.

On top of all this, plus the constant stress of trying to avoid Pignose Dimmock the school bully, in a mixed school they have to worry about keeping their end up (oops, pardon) in front of the girls. The average fourteen year old has no idea how to go about getting inside a girls knickers and even less idea about what to do if he does get there. That aside, the boys secretly find the idea of “doing it” as frightening as it is desirable. Everybody knows at that age vaginas have teeth and a game of hide the sausage with the class slut could be the nightmare that ends his dreams.

For girls the process is no easier. Diverted from the girlish business of excelling in class and dreaming up fiendishly cruel, non – physical ways of humiliating each other by the constant attention of strutting, posing little boys with permarections and by pretending they are having love affairs with thirty – five year old billionaires and are thus too sophisticated to ever bother with the spotty little oiks who are constantly trying to help with their cookery classes by putting a bun in the oven for them, the girls fail academically, get pregnant, end up as single parents trying to bring up three or four kids, all different colours in a near derelict house with mildew coloured walls on a forlorn sing estate where the “green spaces” have more dog turds than blades of grass.

Of course girls do worse in mixed sex schools as do boys. The only people who benefit from politically correct education policies are the ever expanding army of bureaucrats who administer it all.

A Clockwork GCSE Exam Paper
Mr Bollocks In The Cookery Class
Masturbation Canidate

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30 thoughts on “News From The Girls School

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