Is It A Bird, Is It A Plane, Is It Superman, No, its Supermuslim!

Coming soon to a news agent near you, The 99, a legion of Muslim superheroes who represent the ninety nine attributes of Allah and are ready to do battle with the forces of evil in he cause of truth, justice and the Islamic way.

Comic books featuring The 99 which sounds like an ice cream with superhuman powers sell around a million copies a year in Islamic nations for their Kuwaiti publisher but have never before been translated into English. An obviously insane spokesman for the publishing firm says although the superheroes are all devout Muslims, thanks to President Obama building bridges between the west and Islam stories featuring The 99 will appeal to children of all religions and cultures. Knowing how conservative children are we must express a little scepticism about that.

The heroes of The 99 were all originally ordinary mortals, they did not fall to earth in a meteorite or teleport from another dimension. Their super powers were gained when they were exposed to rare precious stones that looked like rubies and sapphires but had different atomic weights. (Red and Green Islamite?)

Though The 99 are a heavily male dominated group there are five female characters all of whom combine their crimefighting with cooking tasty meals and washing clothes for their male being dutiful wives and daughters. Only one of the girl ninety niners wears a veil. Battina The Hidden has to wear a Burqa not because of religious restrictions but because she is invisible and would otherwise give the artists a bit of a problem. Her Burqa also has mystical powers. Ooer missis.

Whether The 99 will be able to alongside Clark Kent and Co will determine the financial success of the venture. We don’t see there being many religious problems from the secular west, Battinas Burqa will ruffle few feathers. What effect Wonder Woman’s camel toe will have on the Mullahs could be a different matter however.

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6 thoughts on “Is It A Bird, Is It A Plane, Is It Superman, No, its Supermuslim!

  1. Lara croft is a super hero(in) with such humongous breasts that in real world she would need an assistant to carry them around,but still she can jump from the 7th floor and scale high walls.By that context a burqa wearing invisible woman can be a super hero(in)

    Like

    • Well we never said she couldn’t be a superhero. But if she wears her Burqa because shge’s invisible wouldn’t that mean when she needs to use the power of invisibility she’d have to get naked?

      Can’t see that going down too well with the Wahabis somehow 😀

      Like

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