There Was Spam, Spam

A song schoolboys of my generation used to sing , The Quartermaster’s Store was learned from our Dads who had sung it as soldiers during World War 2. It had innumerable verses, all simple and easily remembered couplets. My favourite went:

There were fleas, fleas,
with kilts and hairy knees,
In the store, in the store.
There were fleas, fleas,
with kilts and hairy knees,
In the Quartermaster’s store.

CLICK HERE and scroll to 2nd song down for Shurdington Scouts version which is somewhat less scatological than the one I remember.

This silly song was brought to mind when we heard read of an army unit in Afghanistan that had had nothing but SPAM in the Quartermasters Store for several weeks after Taliban attacks on the supply routes stopped vital supplies getting through.

There was SPAM, SPAM,no beef or strawberry jam…

But an army marches on its stomach as Napoleon is reputed to have said and he’d know, the podgy little bastard. The SPAM diet is perhps not the best preparation for those who must go out and fight The Taliban.

Army chefs are among the best in the world however and the unit’s chief cook, Corporal Liam Francis did wonders with his limited resources. He served SPAM curry, SPAM casserole, Sweet and Sour SPAM, SPAM Carbonara, stir – fry SPAM in hoi – sin sauce with noodles, SPAM Stroganoff, even SPAM and Mushroom pie. Liam also told a Boggart Blog reporter he had offered to let the unit’s only female officer sample his SPAM in cider but she didn’t fancy it.



We hear fresh supplies have reached the camp now, much to the relief of the local Taliban squad who having admitted blowing up the food convoy found they were having the crap kicked out of them by soldiers denied a steak.

Politically Correct Military
More humour every day at Boggart Blog

10 thoughts on “There Was Spam, Spam

  1. Yeah, with Rugby it’s only bonhomie in the showers you have to worry about. With scouting there’s too much bonhomie round the campfire for my liking. And then there is the question of middle aged men in shorts. 😀


  2. And middle-aged men in shorts check up on all the tents before beddy byes. Many a boy scout has found a scoutmaster trying to get into HIS shorts. Moral of story: Scoutmasters should have experience with girl guides before scouting with lads. Pass.


  3. Oh I get it…you posh English boyos are too good for Spam…you prefer your tamala motown sauces…while we, in the valleys, used to fight over the key ring…dream about licking the rim…tonguing the lid…and sucking up the gooey viscous…while you were having bonhomie in the the showers…by the way, is that Napoleon Bonhomie? And what is a Corsican dictator doing washing in the rain? For a nation that invented rugby, there is something very odd about the English…boyos.


  4. …what a devastating reposte…I bet Oscar Wilde is going wild…I bet Bernard Shaw isn’t sure any more…I bet James Joyce isn’t rejoicing…as these wits are challenged by the English wit I have to spam with…O hang on a mo…none of them were English…unlike ianrthorpe: Juan, King of Spam


    • Again Peter you accuse me of a failure of hunour when you display a failure of intelligence.

      Where in the original post does it say the English don’t like SPAM. It is very popular here actually, I even enjoy it myself occasionally, grilled or fried, on toast. Maybe with an egg.

      From a post which merely comments on an incident in Afghanistan which left an army unit with no other meat to use in their meals you manage to infer an insult by an Englishman against America and this prompts you to go into a rant about American sexual superiority with references to all sorts of deviant practices enjoyed by American males. Well we all know why American males don’t get much excitement from straight sex with an adult woman.

      Yes Pete, we all know why you guys are so obsessed with sneaking in the back door. No wonder American women are queueing to shag Europeans.


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