Psycho Prime Minister

All these years the nation has been singing “Gordon is a moron” as the Prime Ministers theme tune. In view of the recent revelations of uncontrollable rages, verbal and possibly physical abuse of staff, irrational hatred of mobile phones and laptops and a tendency to self harm perhaps we should have been singing Black Sabbath’s Paranoid, Iron Maiden’s Can I Play With Madness or even They’re Coming To Take Me Away HaHa by Napoleon XIV .

As more stories of rages, temper tantrums and bullying emerge each day the nation is asking will the man in No. 10 turn into the Incredible Hulk when David Cameron taunts him?

Gordon Brown and people close to him have dismissed the stories as fabrications cooked up by his political enemies yet the stories are taken from a book by a left leaning writer with a reputation for meticulous fact checking. To make matters worse a charity that runs a bullying helpline has revealed it received several calls from staff at No. 10. So just what is Brown’s problem? Is he a man on the edge, has he always been a thug or did Obama really upset him so much at Copenhagen he is now taking it out on lowly civil servants? We sent our Parliamentary Correspondent Polly Tickle to talk to the Prime Minister and get his side of the story. She sent us this report from A & E at Middlesex Hospital.

Mr Brown was eager to grant Boggart Blog an interview and greeted me warmly when I was shown into his office. My first question was polite and uncontroversial, I asked how Sarah and the boys were. For some reason this seemed cause great offence.

“What business is it of yours, bitch?” The Prime Minister shouted, grabbing my mobile phone and throwing it at the wall, “You fucking journalists make me sick. Parasites, that’s all you are, the lot of you.”

Mr Brown produced a hammer from his briefcase and nailed my hand to his desk. With me unable to move he grabbed my laptop and kicked it around his study before jumping on it. Then he stapled six post it notes to his own forehead and ran outside to headbutt some tourists.

After that he seemed to calm down and told me if I promised to write something nice about him he would kick one of his staff in the groin and tell them to call an ambulance for me.

Overall I think it is unfair to describe the Prime Minister as psycho. Mr Brown came across to me as a decent, kind, caring man trying his best to cope in a difficult situation and getting no appreciation from either his party colleagues or the nation.

I’ve kept my side of the bargain Prime Minister, will you take that knife away from my throat now please.

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11 thoughts on “Psycho Prime Minister

  1. Poor Broon, forgetting his Christian upbringing. Tony Blair was a much more subtle bully. He was a devious bully. He bullied the UK to go into Iraq and he even bullied the Chilcot Inquiry. Pleasant, amenable and charming he bullied all the old farts on the panel. Blair was/is a manipulator and that is bullying in the cleverest way imaginable.

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    • Yeah, I have always preferred the direct confrontational approach for dealing with bullies myself but it would have been hard even for me to hit Blair. I’d have to forget his school nickname was Emily.

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