Heston Blumenthal, the celebrity crackpot chef and Harry Hill lookalike, the man whose restaurant The Fat Duck at Pangbourne is famous for giving diners snail porridge, ejeculating pudding and food poisoning has been hired by the NHS to give hospital food a makeover.
We are baffled by this to be honest, hospital food has never given anyone food poisoning because it is so shite nobody can bear to eat it.
Many patients who have prolonged stays in hospital find on being discharged they have to return quickly as they are suffering from malnutrition. Our NHS mole tells us even a bunch of patients specially shipped in from Ethiopia to make a public health film about how great hospital food is refused to eat the crap that was served to them.
Experts have estimated that treating people who develop malnutrition related disorders during their time in hospital now costs the NHS more than treating obesity.
We are not sure Heston Blumenthals snail porridge, ejaculating pudding, snot pies, honey glazed sewer rat or any of his other weird signature dishes will solve the malnutrition crisis in NHS hospitals.
His signature food poinsoning might shorten waithing lists for treatment though.
Snail Science and Crystal Meth
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