Queens Speech day, the state opening of Parliament, is always a great day for tradition with people like Red Dragon Pursuivant, Maltravers Herald Extraordinary, Gros Nez Courant and Rouge Arse Hirsute making their once yearly appearances. Black Rod takes a day off from starring in porn films and a lot of old geezers get to wear tights.
Yesterday however The Queens Speech as well as being a pageant of Heraldry heralded a return to freedom and the revival of some important traditions.
For the first time in almost fifty years Her Majesty has a Prime Minister whose family owns a grouse moor (though he prefers not to talk about it.) At last The Queen will be able to talk to the leader of her government about something she understands. A palace spokesman said the Monarch was rather disappointed that the coalition of mortal enemies who form the government will not as their first act be repealing the ban on fox hunting. She finds the governments concession that will allow the hunting with dogs of former Labour MPs some consolation and understands restoring the economy must take priority so the grouse moors can be restocked.
The other great tradition to be restored by the programme of legislation revealed in the speech is personal liberty. The flagship policy of Labours Politically Correct Thought Police, the National ID Card has been scrapped and along with it the restoration of the death penalty for people unable to produce their ID to agents of the Thought Police on demand.
We hear from our mole in Labour Party headquarters that Nanny State became so distraught at this news she has been put on suicide watch. Her Gentleman friend Big Brother was arrested after threatening to unperson that little shit Clegg by airbrushing him out of all official pictures and removing every mention of the Liberal Democrats from media archives. He is being held in a high security prison cell.