Queen’s Speech Review: The Return Of Freedom

Queen’s Speech day, the state opening of Parliament, is always a great day for tradition with people like Red Dragon Pursuivant, Maltravers Herald Extraordinary, Gros Nez Courant and Rouge Arse Hirsute making their once yearly appearances. Black Rod takes a day off from starring in porn films and a lot of old geezers get to wear tights.

Yesterday however The Queen’s Speech as well as being a pageant of Heraldry heralded a return to freedom and the revival of some important traditions.

For the first time in almost fifty years Her Majesty has a Prime Minister whose family owns a grouse moor (though he prefers not to talk about it.) At last The Queen will be able to talk to the leader of her government about something she understands. A palace spokesman said the Monarch was rather disappointed that the coalition of mortal enemies who form the government will not as their first act be repealing the ban on fox hunting. She finds the government’s concession that will allow the hunting with dogs of former Labour MPs some consolation and understands restoring the economy must take priority so the grouse moors can be restocked.

The other great tradition to be restored by the programme of legislation revealed in the speech is personal liberty. The flagship policy of Labour’s Politically Correct Thought Police, the National ID Card has been scrapped and along with it the restoration of the death penalty for people unable to produce their ID to agents of the Thought Police on demand.

We hear from our mole in Labour Party headquarters that Nanny State became so distraught at this news she has been put on suicide watch. Her Gentleman friend Big Brother was arrested after threatening to unperson “that little shit Clegg” by airbrushing him out of all official pictures and removing every mention of the Liberal Democrats from media archives. He is being held in a high security prison cell.

The Real Queen’s Speech

Playing Politics With The Queen

10 thoughts on “Queen’s Speech Review: The Return Of Freedom

      • The British Aristocracy do not undrstand much but they do understand the importance of shooting small animals.

        I was once wandering round one of the big art galleries in London and in one of the rooms was an exhibition of portraits by the eighteenth century artist Sir Peter Lely.
        “Lely was a lousy artist,” I said to myself, he makes all his subjects look the same, same long nose, close set eyes, mean, narrow mouth…” Then I realised all his subjects were inbred English aristocrats.

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      • Sir, if English aristocrats look a bit non-beautiful (“close set eyes, mean, narrow mouth”, etc) it is only because they failed to marry French aristocrats. :>

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    • Not a bit of it Ros. If you thought defeat for Labour at the polls would stop the Thought Police you have underestimated them. Look at our latest, Alcohol Shock, and the links provided.

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  1. As an animal activist (as are my wife and children), if the Cameron coalition brings back fox-hunting I shall disguise myself as an an Israeli with a false British passport and shoot the Masters of the Hunts. They are a bunch of (rhymes with hunts).Killing animals for pleasure is a cruel,worthless pursuit that somehow makes the Horses and Hounds people look puerile and incredibly low class.

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    • You wouldn’t hartm the ber4ks who follow the Berkshire Hunt would you?

      It’s the close set eyes, receding chins and the fact that they are all their own first cousings that reveals what the horse and hounds brigadeare.

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