The Worm In The Apple iPhone 4

At Boggart Blog we make no bones about it, we do not intend you to take us seriously. It is always a tad upsetting then when people do insist on taking us seriously and especially so when those people are fans of Apple Technology. Apple fans behave like Scientologists and like Scientologists hate it when people make fun of their bizarre behaviour which really amounts to the deification of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Apple fans justify themselves by citing technological excellence, design excellence, excellence of Apple technology and a really cute logo as reasons for buying the products they buy. In reality they buy Apple because they are gullible enough to be convinced by media hype, charmed by the fact that their little grey box is only distinguished from millions of other little grey boxes on the market by it’s cutesy-pie little logo and nerdy enough to enjoy the status of being one of a community of nerds who are so desperate to be members of any community they will pay twice the going rate for a little grey box because it’s descriptor has a little “i” in front of it. iPhone, iPod, iPad, iMac, iPlonk, iDiddle-di-do and so on. It is unlikely then that Apple Cultists will be put off by Apple’s latest debacle.

The company has finally admitted it forgot to check its new mobile phone worked before shipping millions of them to shops around the world. In true Apple “glass is half full” style Apple has not said in so many words “You got us bang to rights, it’s a fair cop, the new iPhone is a piece of junk. Oh no, that would not fit comfortably alongside Apple’s corporate PR policy. The company has advised owners of the new iPhone4 that the device should function normally as long as they do not try to hold it with their hands.

An Apple spokesperson said: “Look, what are these whining shits going on about, there are lots of disabled people out there can hold a pen, eat sandwiches, send text messages on their phone and even comb their hair using their feet. Why can’t able bodied people master those very basic skills and use their new iPhone the way it was meant to be used. As a Corporation we have decided to focus in future on foot held products as they are hugely efficient, leaving the hands free for other, more important and profitable tasks.”

Apple CEO Steve Jobs, a man whose entire career has been built on finding increasingly original ways of avoiding an admission that his company’s products are overpriced shite insisted there is nothing wrong with the new iPhone and people are experiencing problems because they are holding it wrongly.

Like with their hands Stevie?

RELATED POSTS:
Nokia mocks Apple iPhone Apple’s response to user reports of iPhone 4s losing reception was that users are holding them the wrong way. In a statement last week, Apple told users to “avoid gripping it in the lower left corner in a way that covers both sides of the black strip in the metal band”. Nokia has responded with a… (story in The Daily Telegraph)

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7 thoughts on “The Worm In The Apple iPhone 4

  1. No excuses–the phone was untried before rushing it to market. All foibles should have been ironed out and it should not be necessary to effect a fix with duct tape or nail varnish (Use the correct hand please, or it will not work–Christ,is this the new technology? The i4 is for left-handed people only.) Customers: Send the fucking phone back and let Jobs work for his money.

    As for the i-pad! It costs a Royal fortune and can do no more than my HP ProBook laptop. God, how hype flummoxes the ignorant.

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    • From what you say Rob it’s worse than my post suggests – and I thought I was exaggerating for comic effect.

      Mind you as an ex computer guy myself I swear by gaffer tape, but would only use the stuff to fix a machine if switching it off and back on again or hitting it with a hammer had not worked.

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  2. It’s not only iphones.
    We’ve just bought a freeview box for the telly in the kitchen. Then we had to get an aerial for the freeview box so it would work with the telly in the kitchen.
    We now find ourselves having to manipulate the aerial to get a decent picture every time we switch the damn thing on, or worse when we change channel… BBC works best with it on top of the spaghetti jar, ITV prefers it in the middle of the worktop. Gawd it dunt half take you back to the sixties.

    I find digital radio so hissy I can’t bear to listen to it, the auto tuner on my car radio randomly changes channels, usually in the middle of a really good song you haven’t heard for ages, Tom Paxton’s ‘If I Could Read Your Mind, Love’ was rudely interrupted the other day.

    CDs, which were advertised initially as being indestructable are absolutely crap, scratchable and breakable and loseable, perhaps because they are so small that no-one ever puts them back in the CD case, whereas the old vinyl was just too big to leave lying about on the sofa or the floor so it had to be stored properly.

    Walkabout re-chargeable phones either get too far away from the base unit and lose the signal halfway through the call, run out of power halfway through the call, or keep ringing interminably as you desperately search under cushions, towells, clothing, discarded CDs and all other manner of detritus to be found in the average teenager’s bedroom, before you find it under the bed, covered in congealed pizza.
    Then it runs out of juice just as you answer it.

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,

    I HATE TECHNOLOGY

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    • There are many valid technical reasons why digital radio is crap and I can explain them in very great detail. I sense that no – one wants me to however, eople just want a little transistor radio that works.

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