Wonder Woman Goes Goth

The new look Wonder Woman (see below) is a bit of a contradiction. If the idea of replacing the star spangled panties, oh so 1950s scarlet bustier and the whole per playboy sexless glamour thing with something less overtly aimed at homonally charged adolescent boys who would find anything sexually alluring, the new Goth look just doesn’t hack it. Modern adolescent boys are no less hormonal but are more sophisticated than their 1950s counterparts and the little goth cutie on the right is going to directly target their fantasies.

To my experienced eye she looks much sexier. This might of course be something to do with my having dated a proto goth (or beatnik as we called them back then) for nearly a year back in 1969. I was 21 she was 34. Things like that make a big impression on a young man and I have certainly had a soft spot for goth girls since then.

If the new look has turned sterile sexless, starry-pantied Wonder Woman into a hottie vampire vixen with superpowers, what might a fashion makeover do for Superman?

For over 70 years the man of steel has unashamedly worn his red speedos over his blue tights as if to say, “I don’t care how ridiculous you think I look, I’m Superman and I can crush your skull between my thumb and forefinger so fuck right off.

For those who like to speculate about fashion trends we can’t see Superman switching to boxer shorts worn outside his trousers, that would just look naff. Nor do we recommend he wears those ridiculous knee length baggy shorts with the hanging crotch and low waistband that shows six inches of bum cleavage. Baggy, low waist shorts was a look favoured by my son and some of his friends for a while until us Dads, finding ourselves forced to be cruel to be kind had to take our boys for a pint and say “Look son I know you think silly trousers are kewel, like Niggaz With No Dress Sense or somebody but really showing arse cleavage is not the way to get laid, you just look a twunt.

No, Superman’s pants over trousers look must stay if only to remind us of the kind of chutzpah you’re going to need if called on to save the world.

As for the new Emo Wonder Woman, if she would like to come round to my house I promise her the multiple orgasms will not destroy her super powers.

Wonder Woman: Original versus New Look…

WWorig WWnew

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9 thoughts on “Wonder Woman Goes Goth

  1. She can read me a bedtime superhero comic anytime 😉 – the original version, besides having a horribly masculine pair of pins, looks like she might have to shave a wee moustache off every so often as well.

    Only tangentially related…. but if the Pythons had done a Superwoman version of Bicycle Repair Man, it would probably have featured House Cleaning Woman – Nora Batty in full stockings scrubbing her steps.

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