Batteries Not Included

News today that a range of nine electric cars are to be given goverrnment subsidies of 25%. This will make the price of an electric car with specification equivalent to a Nissan Micra only slightly more expensive than a mid range Merc or Beemer. Yes electric cars are the Apple iMac of the roads. You pay twice as much for half as much but you get to feel smug.

And then there is the problem of range, The current generation of electric cars will, if you live in a fairly modest semi, get you to the end of the drive before they need charging.

And there are no fast charging points yet which means you have to hang about eight hours while the car charges from a 13 amp socket before continuing your journey.

We have reported previously that electric cars are not clean, they simply shift the shit from the end of your exhaust to the flue of a power station or the outfall from a nuclear plant.

One spokesman for the fraud green energy industry said electric cars will come into their own as renewables become our main source of power. Has anybody noticed how little sunshine we’ve had since October and how windless the cold days of the last two weeks were – except for the days there was a force six and the windmills had to be shut down because they would have torn themselves apart.

But that’s not all the bad news for sandal wearing tree huggers. There’s worse to come:
(a) Making a set of batteries for an electric car and scrapping or recycling the same causes more pollution than conventional fuel will in the car’s lifetime (and nastier pollution too).
(b) When you buy an electric car there a line of small print on the box. It says “batteries not included.

You will be reassured to know Fatsally will not be giving up her 2.5litre turbocharged Subaru Impreza 4 x 4 nor I my 2 litre VTEC Honda Accord any time soon. Proper cars for proper drivers.

VROOOOOOM 😀

Read news story on Electric Cars at BBC News
Nuclear Accident

8 thoughts on “Batteries Not Included

  1. It’s a shame they can’t design a car engine that runs on gobshite because these green energy campaigners are full of it.

    When we had the kitchen done our electrician told us that he could replace the flourescent tubes in there, but they were being phased out so five years down the line we would have to put something else in anyway.

    My kitchen is a bit of a cave so waiting for two low energy bulbs to get up to brightness enough to illuminate the space would simply take too long, I’d have to start today’s tea yeaterday.

    So we put up two rods -er strips or maybe strings – of spots.

    These have 4 bulbs each.

    And each bulb is guaranteed for 2000 hours. It sounds a lot doesn’t it?

    But of course it isn’t.

    If my kitchen lights are on for say 2 hours in the morning and 4 hours in the evening I will get about 11 months out of them.

    But of course, the kitchen facing west, and the garden containing trees, the lights end up being on for much longer, practically all day in this darkest part of the year. T
    hen there are the teenagers who for some reason are totally incapable of turning a light off behind them, so the kitchen lights can be on for about 20 hours a day.

    Having fitted these current lights in May we are currently nearly through our second 6 pack of bulbs, and I had to replace two bulbs which weren’t working when we bought the damn things.

    Then there’s the disposal of them, can’t just chuck them in the bin.

    And of course you have to factor in the cost of manufacture and transport.

    In 10 years of living in this house we changed each tube only once.

    So these halogen bulbs are obviously much better for the environment. Not.

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    • Interestingly though slightly off topic, CFLs actually take twice the power stated. They only draw power at the top of the cycle so if you have an 11 watt bulb it is actually drawing 22 watts for purposes of loading on the mains circuit. The 11 watt rating is accurate for billing purposes as that is an average.

      Just thought I’d mention that to encourage any sciency types who think they should give you a lecture on green eggs and ham bullshit to fuck right off. I know a lot about this stuff, it’s just so boring I can’t usually be arsed talking about it.

      It is essential people are aware of that because if you need 8 x 11 watt CFLs in the main room to generate enough light so you can see your feet and you have a teenager (or a 36 year old arrested adolescent who on arriving walks round the house switching on every light and opening every door the place could easily burn down.

      Talking of green eggs and ham I bought Becky a Dr. Seuss book for Crimbo but intend to extract a promise that only I am allowed to read it to her. Got to take care of the child’s cultural development.

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  2. I have written about this before: Electric cars are crap and have little future as yet, unless Auntie Mary just uses her G Wizz to go to the shops a mile away. The perfect electric car has not been invented: It must do 1000 miles between charging, top 100 mph and not have two tons of shitty, dirty lithium batteries in its backside.
    I’ll stick to my 535i thanks. Not easy on the petrol,sure,does 130mph and goes like stink. Bet I’d give Sal’s Impreza a good seeing too!

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  3. This is a hopeless, impractical idea for anyone who needs to seriously get around in a vehicle for all the reasons mentioned above.
    My little Honda Civic is hardly a gas guzzler but it’s got me through Snowdonia and some bitter winter conditions….let’s see Our Friends Electric do that.
    The only good side to these erm, vehicles, is that security isn’t an issue. The miscreants would probably nick the crook lock and leave the car behind.

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