Unions Complain About Cuts To WTF Jobs

Ths iz the Boggart Blog office cleaner (BSc Pollytical Siens) reporting. Today evry1 been out for the long lunch. Normally Iem not allowed to touch computers ‘cept wen somebody spill coffee or more likely wine wiv this lot on them.

Today though Ian say, why not do a post,(Well he’d had a few b4 they go) weel c how it go, maybe we promot u. Sub editor praps. I could do with a sub so here goes. Anyway its is an ol post wot I revamped a bit.

Its about Big fuss today about job losses in Enhaichess, some say Wossname Camra on gand are cutting nurses and doctors, some say too many non jobs in public secter anyway.

Some of the jobs in town hall and hospitles, K wangos and all that are just having a laugh innit? Salaries are not great but not much work to do by the job holder, kno wot I mean.

So here’s post from 2009.

We wonder what kind of people dream up some of the jobs on offer in The Guardian’s Public Sector recruitment supplement today.

Equalitites Officers, Sexuality Awareness advisers, community integration managers and human rights compliance officrs are all in demand.

We cannot think however, what a Domestic Violence Action Co-ordinator will do to fill their time or justify a salary? Are such people responsible for Co-ordinating domestic violence by scheduling the wife beating activities of thugs so as to spread the load on A & E departments and ambulance services? Or if some bastard is ill, exhausted or just can’t be arsed, will the Domestic Violence Action Co Ordinator be responsible arranging for someone else to go round and beat the wife beater’s wife up for him?

Jobs in Domestic Violence have come up a few times recently.

Another of this weeks vacancies that has us all baffled is an advert for a Singing For The Brain Co-ordinator. WTF is singing for the brain. It is something to do with teaching lousy singers to not make any noise, just sing a song in their head. Or something more sinister perhaps, are the government encoding messages the Fibbonaci series values of musical tones and employing pitch – perfect singers to brainwash us all?

Another bizarre, WTF title belongs to a job a South London borough is recruiting for. Lean Practitioner. What is a lean practicioner? Do they train people lean forward or back or to either side while working. That sounds like some Hundu or Buddhist austerity. Can someone, with the help of a lean practitioner attain Nirvana by walking from John O’Groats to Land’s End leaning backwards at an angle of 22 degrees? Or do they encourage anorexia? Whatever it is, the job carries a salary of £35k a year.

Just as baffling is the requirement for a female prostitution action worker (they’re nearly all co-ordinators or action workers, sometimes even action co-ordinators. Anyway, a female prostitution action worker, isn’t that just a pretentious way of saying “prozzers wanted.” Maybe not because the job description said the job holder would be “researching and developing strategies for dealing with the causes of demand for prostitution. Well that should take about five minutes. Too many sex starved blokes, not enough prostitutes. Sorted, can I have my year’s salary please?

A team of black and ethnic minority compact officers is needed in London. What? Do they plan to compact black and ethnic minority people like they compact household waste?

Isn’t that a tad racist?

If member of ethic minorities are not compact enough they should only accept work permit applications from pygmies and Japanese. No Sumo wrestlers though. So pygmies, selected Japanese, San bushmen from the Namib desert. And Eskimos maybe, they are quite compact.

Pick of the week though was a full page dedicated to “careers in substance misuse.”

How do you get into a career in Substance Abuse? Well being called Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty or Keith Richards is a good start I guess.

What worries be is that by the time you read this there will be some berk sitting in an office in South London picking up £35,000 a year for wondering what a Lean Practicioner is supposed to do.

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