Coming Soon – Migration Watch – Live

A brief respite yesterday in my currently hectic life, and it was my wedding anniversary too!

Because of circumstances beyond my control we were unable to make our intended trip to France, so were Barnsley bound.

But what a day!

Went for a round of golf with hubby, although not fit enough to play yet I did take along my pitching wedge and putter and gobsmacked not only myself but hubby and one or two other players with the accuracy of my pitches and putts! And that with only one eye as the other is inflamed, half closed and photophobic with a nasty eye infection.
Punches a right uppercut into the air whilst shouting “Yeeessssssss!”.

Then back home to watch the Turkish Grands Prix.

They might have started off looking like they’d actually grown up this season, and indeed both Ferrari and McLaren demonstrated this by not releasing their pit departing cars into the paths of oncoming vehicles, however the cracks are starting to show.

Mr Schumacher was up to his old tricks, baulking Hamilton in qualifying and having a tangle with one of the Renaults and then pushing somebody into the pit lane as they tried to pass, oh and starting well up the grid only to finish thirteenth, out qualified and out driven once again by his younger team-mate Nico Rosberg.

We also saw Adrian Sutil getting up close and personal with a couple of other cars, whilst McLaren struggled with a wheel nut, Mark Webber showed off his fighting spirit, coming through to take second whilst young Herr Vettel disappeared over the horizon, taking the chequerted flag once again.

Of course this being F1 the rumours are starting to fly about the legality of the Red Bull, further encouraged by the hasty cover up of the rear of the car following Vettels trip into the barriers during the rainy first practice session.

The tears and tantrums should be in full swing by the time they get to Silverstone!

Next up was Man Utd versus Chelsea, the Premiership leaders and their closest pursuers, made all the better by the fact that Man U won – well it made it better for me, hubby wasn’t so chuffed as he fervently supports anyone who is playing against Man U, a stand I feel is not unique:)

And finally the Madrid Masters tennis final between Rafa Nadal and Novak Djokovic. Apart from Rafa losing that has got to be a near perfect day television wise.

But wait, what was that I saw in the paper?

Migration Watch!

Somebody at the Beeb needs to get this commisioned right away.

Think of Spring Watch only at a couple of ports and air terminals.

The hushed tones of Mr. Oddie as he peers through his binoculars at the passengers disembarking from flight FSU364, Doncaster bound from somewhere deep inside the former Soviet Union.

“We’re looking at the passengers coming off this flight. I can see some passports already being proffered… some EU passports in there.. oh, oh, over there, Non EU Residents passport control, I can see an earnest discussion between a gentleman and an official, perhaps we can zoom in to get a closer look? Yes, yes, the official is looking at the passport and shaking his head, oh and look, the gentleman is indicating the whole group of people with him, it looks to me like it might be extended family…yes, he’s got the aged grandparent, the wife holding the baby and practically someone from every year in between those two extremes… ah, a second official… oh and an armed policeman…. they’re leading the gentleman and his family into one of the intrview rooms….”

Cut back to Bill Oddie standing next to a baggage carousel.

“Well I’m afraid that all we’ve got time for today, don’t forget to tune in tomorrow when we should be able to pop back and give you an update on that situation we have just seen developing.
Don’t forget to send us your pictures of migrants, especially those you think might be trying to get into the country illegally!


Got to be a winner.

5 thoughts on “Coming Soon – Migration Watch – Live

    • Think you’d probably have to adapt it, perhaps have someone getting pullled into oblivion on the baggage carousel as they tried to lift their bag off, or maybe emerging from the terminal busily looking at their newly stamped passport only to get mown down by a passing, illegal, minicab.

      Migration, red in tooth and claw!


      • Or swallowed by one of those giant wheelie bins …

        Or perhaps The Luggage from Terry Pratchett’s The Colur of Magic could be deployed. That eats people. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Cleo is home on Thursday, I’ll get her to lend you the video.


    • Ah yes, Bill Oddie, the thinking twitcher’s Noel Edmonds.

      Oooh just thought, with reference to Ian’s comment, obviously a giant kitten could gobble up the newly arived immigrant:)


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