Science world awaits CERN announcement on Higgs boson. World Yawns.

I did think of calling this post “Faith, Theoretical Particles and the Priests Of The New Physics”

Physicists working at the Cern laboratory in Geneva have summoned colleagues from around the world to a special seminar where they will announce their latest findings. Although they will stop short of claiming a definitive scientific discovery, their data is understood to point towards the existence of the sought-after Higgs Boson – dubbed the “God particle.” If the hints in the results are later proven correct, it would confirm a theory first proposed in 1964 by Peter Higgs at Edinburgh University and provide the final piece of evidence for the Standard Model, which explains how matter is composed.

The secrecy surrounding the results is such that the two separate groups searching for the subatomic particle have not been told what each other’s results show. This means there is still a great deal of uncertainty – even among the physicists leading the search for the elusive particle – how strong the evidence for or against its existence is. Yes, you read that right, uncertainty. They boys with cone shaped heads are getting excited over the fact that they haven’t proved the Higgs Boson does not exist. Why does this excite them? All will become clear if you read on.

While a lot of scienceheads are grizzling that the media insist on calling the Higggs Boson The God Particle tey are, are they not, displaying a quasi – religious faith in something the existence of which can neither be proved or disproved.

Look at this: Prof Jon Butterworth, head of the British section of the ATLAS team, said yesterday: “We know what results we have got and we are excited, but on their own ours would not even be particularly compelling as evidence – it depends that the bigger picture looks like when we know what the other guys have got.” Staff have been told by Cern’s director-general, Rolf-Dieter Heuer, that the teams will stop short of announcing a discovery but Prof Butterworth said the results could mark the beginning of the end for the experiment with a conclusive result expected next year.

He said: “It is certainly a massive step in the end game of the Higgs hunt. This will be a major step forward and the Higgs will either have even less places to hide or it will look like the answer. “Now we are seeing the textbooks being written, and we don’t know what is going to be on the next page.” An admission then that if they have found anything at all, they don’t have the first clue what it is.

How many times have the boy scientists got all excited before only to find the tiny burst of energy registering on their sensors were nothing at all? One previous “discovery” at CERN turned out to be the pull exerted by the moon’s gravitional field on the surface of Lake Geneva that causes the lake’s tiny tide. So this latest excitement could easily be caused by the shock waves from a cockroach farting somewhere in the tunnel.

And as some science worshipper is bound to ask do I understand the prrpose of the LHC project I’ll pre emp the question. “What is the purpose of the Large Hadron Collider? Simples, it is to extend the free ride of a bunch of otherwise unemployable nerds on a taxpayer funded gravy train.

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3 thoughts on “Science world awaits CERN announcement on Higgs boson. World Yawns.

  1. My God they think they maybe might have found the trace of a shadow of a hint of a part of an untoward undiscovered particle, with their billionzillion Euro underground merry-go-round.
    But where oh where is the Bosum’s Higg …is what I want to know.

    “Gravy train” huh? There’s no fooling you 🙂


    • The thing is none of these sub atomic particles can truly be said to exist in the material sense, they are little bursts of energy released when a nucleus is whacked very hard with something.

      Now I tend to release a burst of energy when whacked very hard, mostly in the form of toe curlingly obscenne curses. It does not mean those curses have any significance in the great scheme of things.


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