Nanny State getting scarier than Nanny McPhee.

After the last general election we all heaved a sigh of relief, Nanny Harperson had been consigned to the opposition and we looked forward to being ruled by Liberals and those laissez – faire Tories who would be too busy stealing money off us to bother about our lifestyles.

The relef was shortlived. The liberals, wussy and limp wristed though they may be are whingeier than most politically correct Labour whinger and the Tories, instead of spending their leisure time visiting dominatrices in black walled dungeons around Chelsea and Maida Vale have taken up b&d themselves with us as their punters.

Today Dave, who might look as if he’s wearing a flesh coloured gimp mask but he isn’t – it’s his face, promised to do something about binge drinking. What is he going to do?

He’s going to put up the price of booze. This will hit all us moderate drinkers but will not affect the binge drinkers; they’ll just scam more benefits off us poor taxpayers.

Meanwhile the Politically Correct Thought Police (Booze Squad) have launched a propaganda initiative to warn us of the dangers of alcohol.

And they are pushing that discredited line that if you drink over the safe limit your liver will turn to strawberry jam, your face will go red and spotty, your penis or breasts will shrivel up and drop off and you will die before tomorrown dinner time.

Unfortunately we know the “safe limits” were made up by a government health adviser. And when he presented his made uip figures the govermemt at the time told him to halve it because they did not want people to put themselves at risk of having fun.

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Nanny State prepares to make binge drinkers sit on the naughty chair

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7 thoughts on “Nanny State getting scarier than Nanny McPhee.

  1. Do you know why a bottle wine contains 75 centilitres?

    It is because in sensible, enlightened days, that was considered the sensible amount for a gentleman to drink with his dinner.

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    • I remember working in The City before and after big bang in the 1980s. Some of the merchant bankers used to go out and have a very large hot roast beef and horseradish sandwich washed down with a pint (about 66cl)of port for lunch .

      This was very sensible from my point of view as after lunch they’s sign off any budget I presented them with.

      I used to stick with soft drink at linchine, Pride, Youngs bitter and various Shepherd Neame brews.

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      • Well, I am no economist, but they never actually make money, do they? It’s always a sort of unfair trade, where somebody else has lost the money they suck in, which is why there is all this debt, except where the billionaires are.

        I keep meaning to read the guy’s books, which are rumoured to be a bit turgid, but I think that may be what Marx was trying to warn people about, when he wasn’t inventing theories that would predict history…

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      • I wouldn’t recommend Marx for lighht bedtime reading but if you want an understanding of how it all went pear shaped you could do a lot worse than read Terry Pratchett’s Making Money although it will make more sense if you read Going Postal first.

        Unlike Marx’s turgid prose there are jokes in both.

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