Osborne’s War On Pies

A couple of days ago that always fair and objective commentator Little Nicky Machiavelli was conservative Chancellor George (Posh Boy) Osborne against a media and chatterati attack that claimed he had in his budget speech mugged pensioners by imposing a Granny tax. Little Nicky was, as always, right and anyone who falls for that tried old “Pity the poor pensioners” left wing trope will deserve all they get should they ever again elect a Labour government or, heaven forbid, a Lab – Lib – Dem coalition which would immediately impose a million per cent political correctness tax on every penny you earn and make heterosexual relationships illegal.

No, we should not attack Osborne for what he has not done but for what he deserves to be attacked for. Nor should we be afraid to slaughter the left’s sacred cows in doing so.

One evil little tax introduced in the budget went unreported went unreported by the effete metrosexual cohorts of mainstream media even though it amounts to a declaration of war by Posh Boy and his even posher coalition mates (Lord Snooty and His Pals) was the tax on pies and pasties that did not raise a murmur of dissent from either the government or opposition benches.

To be specific the new tax is levied on hot pies and pasties, the staple diet of northern people from the potteries to the Roman wall, in the rural west country, the industrial heartlands of the midlands and even among the not yet gentrified cockneys of East London. Pies and Pasties are the soul food of Britain.

Osborne is trying to starve the people of England into surrender. Lumping pies and pasties in the same class as caviare, smoked salmon and quails eggs or chicken in aspic is the same as putting VAT on bus fares. There is nothing luxurious about a Gregg’s pasty (pies from Pooles of Wigan, Rathbones of St Helens or Greenhalghs of Bolton may be a different matter but sssssh! We don’t want to be putting ideas in Posh Boy’s head)

VAT on hot pies wounds the memory of every brave Briton who fought to keep these islands free. To add insult to injury , there will be no tax on those vile, revolting little polystyrene pots of cold rice or cous cous with coloured bits. Cold soggy pasta masquerading as salad will not be hit. The “healthy options” sold in emporia of wussiness such as Marks and Spencer, Sainsbury’s and Waitrose, pathetic little portions of politically correct mush, are not under attack. So why the discrimination against good old British food?

Did the English archers at Azincourt or the brave men who went once more unto the breach at Harfleur eat cold pasta or cous cous? No, they took to the battlefield pies and pasties cunningly designed to fit in a tunic pocket. It was the same at Trafalgar and Waterloo. Fortified by their pies our lads overwhelmed the enemy. In the dark days of World Wars one and two the men who fought in the trenches or defied the might of Nazi Wehrmacht as Britain stood alone were encouraged to keep calm and carry on by the knowledge that the pie shops never closed.

Pies and pasties are synonymous with British independence. The Coalition and their Labour predecessors, agents both of the New World Order that would subsume of national identity under a should of multiculturalism as part of a homogenous global nation. They have already ruined our beer, our sausages, our Cheddar Cheese, and we did not speak out. Now they have come for our pies, what next? Our Yorkshire Pudding, Bath Buns, Dundee Cake?

This attack on our pies is just the latest battle in a long war. Can we prevail. We must, or this country we love shall be lost. but when we do defeat the multicultural foe

Then no Briton shall pass a pie shop by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we who fought shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that eats his pie with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us here on Pasty day.
(apologies to Shakespeare)

Happy now Mike? 😀

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