Boris And The Fizzy Drink Fascists

Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York is rapidly acquiring a reputation as one of the world’s leading politically correct fascists. He introduced the Orwellian offence of Thought Crime to the New York City statute book when he passed a law that made it illegal to carry doughnuts into a children’s playground because people in possession of doughnuts might think about eating a doughnut in front of the precious little darlings thus encouraging them to think eating a doughnut is OK and setting them on the slippery slope to junk food addiction and early death.

Bloomberg did not stop there however. So obessive is his control freakery that not only did he ban smoking in al public spaces he also tried to ban New Yorkers for smoking in their own homes. Why not just ban the sale of cigarettes? you might well ask. Actually that would be unconstitutional.

New Yorkers have been under attack from Bloomberg’s Thought Police for a long time now but at last they have a champion, a man willing to defend their right to eat kak, smoke poisonous weed and drink fizzy da – glo coloured drinks against the dark forces of political correctness. Not Superman, not Batman, but London Mayor Boris Johnson.

Mr Johnson who has been in New York to promote his new book on London, was appearing on The Daily Show when he was asked by host Jon Stewart about Mayor Bloomberg’s plans to ban the sale of sweetened fizzy drinks larger than sixteen ounces at restaurants, cinemas and sports venues.

Mr Johnson said: “What I will say is that refugees from the soda tyranny of New York City will have sanctuary in London.”

“I don’t want to sound jingoistic, but if you do wish to come and drink soda from a 16 ounce pot, come to London. Bring your huddled masses yearning to break free.”

We’re not sure what Madam Liberty, standing sential over New York harbour, the portal to the Land Of The Free would have though of the quotation but she is French so she was probably puffing on a Gauloise and drinking wine as she waited between courses of saturated fat laden food.

See video of Boris on The Daily Show

Stub out that demon ciggy and enjoy a politically correct spliff
Frying Pan Fascists
Do Nut Related Thought Crime
What A Silly Sausage You Are Mr. Mayor

2 thoughts on “Boris And The Fizzy Drink Fascists

    • He’s a brilliant host on Have I Got News For You as well. Not sure that makes him London Mayor material but credit where it’s due.

      And he’s probably better than King Kenute would have been.


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