Graeme Swann’s Cat

What is it about Graeme Swann and cats? A couple of years ago Swannie was in court on a drunk driving charge.

Whilst he admitted that he had been drinking earlier in the day, he told the court that when he got home he realised the builders had re-laid the floorboards leaving his cat trapped underneath. He immediately jumped into his car and hared off to the nearest DIY shop to purchase a screwdriver so he could remove the recently replaced floorboards and release his cat. (A Shaggy Cat Story)

Attending a function recently a punter enquired as to the well being of the aforementioned moggy.

Swannie had another tale to tell.

Arriving back home he saw a flattened, furry shape lying stil in the gutter.

Distraught, Swannie scooped up the lifeless feline and proceeded to bury it in the back garden. He then retired to the kitchen for a slug of solace and to mourn his departed pet.

He was very surprised then when said pet strolled back into the kitchen.

He’d buried somebody else’s cat.

We can only hope the rapidly interred cat was actually dead and not just snoozing.

One thought on “Graeme Swann’s Cat

  1. Schroedingers cat explined:

    When a cat in not observed it is either sleeping or hungry, but probably sleeping.

    When the cat is observed it is either sleeping or hungry, but probably hungry.

    Ergo: Swannie’s cat was resting in a one dimensional state (string theory) in the gutter while it was not observed but once he observed it, the quantum state changed and it became multi dimensional
    (M theory) and hungry.


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