Next Pope Must Be Black Say Lefties. Homophobic, sexist, condom hating but black?

It’s all so predictable really. No sooner was the ink dry on Pope Benedict’s resignation letter than the lefties politically correct lefties of the Anglosphere were screaming that the next Pope must be black (political correctness is a phenomenon unknown outside the English speaking nations.) Why not? And while we’re at it, the next King or Queen of England should be black and also the next Emperor of Japan, President of Russia and Chief of the chuffing Eskimos.

PR isn’t really modern Catholicism’s strong point however which could save the lefties from the most embarrassing exposure of their collective stupidity ever. Pity really, the religion of Political Correctness poses a far greater threat to civilisation that any Crusades, Jihads or Evangelical revivals.

black-pope
Announcing The First Black Pope

In a few weeks time they’re going to establish a new Papal Conclave. If the leaders of the Catholic Church have any sense they will dispense with the usual secrecy and mysticism and ask Simon Cowell to organise the process. With Graham Norton presenting the televised voting rounds – though all things considered perhaps Graham would not be the best front man. Pity they feel so strongly about homosexuals, I love to see the Cardinals being put in ‘The Red Chair.’

Technically the selection of a Pope is supposedly a reflection of God’s will. Given that last time they picked a guy who had been in the Hitler Youth perhaps God needs a good PR man too. Catholicism needs a game changer rather than a gesture Pope. The leftie Black Pope lobby are saying in effect “It’s an anachronistic, reactionary religion and … oh a black Pope will change all that at a stroke (of an altar boy?)”

A Black Pope could turn out to be the left’s worst nightmare. Catholicism is a conservative religion, African tribal societies are deeply conservative because that is the nature of tribal societies. So a Black Pope could bring a double dose of homophobic, sexist, condom hating conservatism to his chair as head of the world’s billion Roman Catholics.

Bookies Paddy Power are quoting odds already. Cardinal Marc Ouellet of Canada at 3-1 and Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana at 7-2, (with Richard Dawkins a rank outsider at 666/1).

If the Black Pope lobby got their way, Turkson would be home and hosed now. but if he did get the job it could sink the left’s negrophilia forever. A black Pope is the liberal establishments worst nightmare. I remember left wing feminists in Britain screaming for a woman Prime Minister. Then they got Margaret Thatcher, still spiritual leader of global laissez faire conservatism.

If moral relativism is the Left’s Achilles heel, then racial moral relativism is the Left’s broken spine. Dine out in north London, and you find yourself tripping over veterans of the protests against Apartheid in South Africa. Seek out veterans of the protests against the Mugabe regime or protests against punishment beatings and stonings of homosexuals in Uganda and executions in Malawi, and you’ll be disappointed.

Pope Turkson would mess with the Left’s head. A Ghanian becomes the most influential black man on the planet (far more influential than Barack Obama) HOORAY!. But he also rejects the use of condoms to fight the spread of HIV BOO!. He’s a fierce critic of global capitalism, and a strong advocate of banking reform HOORAY!. But he’s also dismissed African homophobia as “commensurate with tradition” BOO!. Asking lefties what they thought of him would be like putting the proverbial idiot on a circular room and asking him to piss in a corner.

Even if the liberal intelligentsia, the chatterati, overcome their fear of being thought racist and fight it, they cannot influence the outcome and as the election of Pope Benedict showed the Catholic Church is not influenced by the squawking of outraged lefties in Britain, New York and California. If Turkson’s Papacy comes to pass, when it is revealed what kind of Roman Catholic lies beneath his sacramental skin tone the left will have to eat their words. Words like these: “The young tearaway who’s in the running to be the next Pope” The Independent’s 2010 billing of the “handsome, modest and very intelligent” Turkson back in 2010. “A renowned champion of the poor and marginalised” was the description on the Left Foot Forward web site which was down when I tried to get the link to the article.

The Red Chair on The Graham Norton Show – Perfect for electing a new Pope?

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