Aliens Discovered Near Earth. Don’t Panic!

Douglas Adams has done it again. While the wankers at CERN were flushing shitloads of taxpayers money down the toilet in their pursuit of a chimera, while the American Church Of Scienceology cult aka SETI are talking about travelling to galaxies 100 light years distant where there might, just might, be stars that might, just might, have planets that might, just might, be capable of supporting life forms similar to those on earth if there is the right balance of oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and enough water on the planets surface and the day / night temperature differential is OK and about a billion other things are as they must be, another of Adams’ predictions from Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy turns out to be correct.

Remember the bit in H2G2 when an invasion fleet from a highly advanced alien civilization, en route to earth on a conquer and subjugate mission arrived on our planet only to be swallowed in its entirity by a small dog?

Well read this:

British scientists believe they have found small bugs from outer space in the Earth’s atmosphere.

Tiny organisms were discovered by University of Sheffield experts on a research balloon they had sent 27km (16.7 miles) into the atmosphere during last month’s Perseids meteor shower.

The microscopic bugs were detected when the balloon landed back on the ground in Wakefield, West Yorkshire.

But the scientists insist the samples could not have been carried from the Earth’s surface into the stratosphere – the second layer of our atmosphere, which stretches up to 50km (31 miles) from the ground.

Strict tests were taken to avoid any contamination, they said.

(Full story)

So while the science worshippers’ high priest Brian Cox is talking about preparing to travel impossible distances 100 light years when light travels at 186,000 miles per second and our fastest spacecraft goes ten miles per second with a following solar wind, to meet highly advanced aliens like those in Star Trek or Doctor Who, the aliens were within reach for decades. And for once I can’t say scientists never see the big picture because while they were looking at the big Sci – Fi picture on their plasma screen or at the local multiplex, they actually needed a microscope to see our first alien encounter.

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4 thoughts on “Aliens Discovered Near Earth. Don’t Panic!

    • Me grumpy? I’m laugh a minute. And what a wealth of material science tits like Cox and Co provide me with to laugh at. This is a satirical blog, not a social networking page.

      But why are science tits so unambitious. They’ve only seen microscopic amoeba in the upper atmosphere. Before World War 2 cryptozoologist James Constable discovered gigantic amoebae like Cthulhu in the upper atmosphere. Now that’s worth getting excited about.

      Did You See That

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    • SETI, the search For Extra Terrestrial Life, a team of scientists based in California have been monitoring radio waves from distant galaxies fot fifty years as a cost of $billions.

      Amusing to think that when we sneeze we emit more alien life forms that they’ve ever found.

      Like

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