Global Warming Linked To Cigarette Smoking

Former government minister Lord Deben, chairman of the Committee on Climate Change and the money grubbing hypocrite formerly known as John Selwyn Gummer, has condemned the media for seeking to balance climate change Warmageddon fearmongers with sceptics.

His Lordship warned that climate sceptics were given too much coverage, and said the media should recognise that a balanced report should recognise that he and his trougher mate Tim Yeo hope to make shitloads of money from their investments in renewables companies.

Evidence in favour of climate change is so strong, said the man who in the 1990s addled his brain eating too many burgers made from BSE infected cows, that it could be compared to evidence linking smoking to cancer (Scottish court rules smoking does not cause cancer) or evidence that the Moon Landing was not staged.

Well there is evidence that the moon landings were staged HERE, HERE, and HERE … and also plenty of counter evidence they weren’t. What I want to know is if those guys really did walk on the moon how come they never talked about meeting The Clangers? As with God, you believe what you choose, personally I don’t give a shit. Man’s greatest achievement? Eff off, assuming it is genuine we spent all that money to learn the moon is made of rocks and dust rather than cheese.

Deben (hang on, isn’t that the name of the guy in Naked Gun films too) said: “When you’re discussing the science of climate change, you really shouldn’t go off to Australia because you couldn’t find another person who had some scientific credentials to appear because you feel you’ve got to have that balance.

“I just think you’ve got to recognise that balance has to have some rationality within it.”

And we think you have to recognise that Lord Deben is not the right man to talk about rationality and balance.

6 thoughts on “Global Warming Linked To Cigarette Smoking

  1. In answer to the only important question here, I can tell you the reason the people who went to the moon didn’t meet the Clangers is that they live inside a small, cratered blue planet, not the moon.

    I’m shocked you didn’t know that.

    Oh, wasn’t it Drebin in Police Squad and the Naked Gun films?

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    • Deben, Drebin, close enough for jazz.

      That the clangers lived on a small, cratered blue planet is, as any well informed shapeshifting lizard know, a NASA lie because the Illuminati did not want punters to work our that the moonwalkers would have met clangers if the landings had been genuine. Did they think none of us were smart enough to know the moon is a small cratered celestial body and when viewed from outside the earth’s atmosphere it is as the song tells us, Blue.

      “Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone.
      Without a dream in my heart.
      Without a love of my own.
      Bom-ma-bom, a-bom-bom-a-bom, ba-ba-bom-bom-a-bomp,
      b-dang-a-dang-dang, b-ding-a-dong-ding.”
      Blue Moon, The Marcels (lyric) (video)

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      • It does if you are a clanger, they have different optical systems to humans. That clearly is not a planet, it has no atmosphere (if it had the light hitting the gases would make it look like a big Wensleydale cheese)

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      • You’re right. Oliver Postgate made it out of a football bladder and plaster. The lids on the craters are metal buttons. But as Clagers have chopped sponge inside, rather than lungs, the absence of an atmosphere matters less.

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