That’s just taking the piss out of taxpayers

A drinking water reservoir that serves Portland, Oregon’s population of 500,000 was shut down and drained recently after a 21-year-old man was caught having a slash in it.

According to, officials took the Mount Tabor reservoir offline and dumped its more than 7.8 million gallons of drinking water after officials observed the man relieving himself into its waters, an act that he could not deny as it was recorded by video surveillance cameras.

Though a pint of peepee among around 65 million pints of water is approaching homeopathic levels of dilution and therefore is hardly a threat to the city’s water supply, and with the reservoir being situated in open country surely worse things have found their way into the water, Portland Water Bureau Administrator David Shaff decided to drain the reservoir as a political move, hoping his prompt action will impress the voters.

As the action will cost taxpayers upwards of $400,000 to fully remediate it might turn out to be politically counterproductive. When asked about this strange decision, Shaff admitted that draining the reservoir has nothing to do with science but immediately conjured up images of people drinking pee so as to justify it.’

Don’t know what the fuss is about, Hindus and Buddhists drink their own piss as a diet supplement, preverts pay good money to drink other people’s and Africans have no choice but to drink water from very small pools that very large elephants have pissed in. And how many of us have at some time drunk a can of supermarket own brand lager?

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