PhD Scientist Published Academic Paper On Locating Time Travellers

Let’s face it, most of us don’t know a lot about Time Travel beyond what we have learned from watching Doctor Who. But it seems some scientists are getting quite excited about it. Brian Cox PhD (which stands for Phenomenally Dumb) is quite convinced it is possible to travel forward in time but not to get back.

That is great news, now all we need is for someone to develop a system capable of transporting the irritating bell end a million years into the future.

doctor who tardis
Source: blogspot commons

But barmy Brian is not the only mad scientist who thinks Doctor Who is a travel documentary like those things Michael Palin does. Some people who want us to take them seriously think there are time travellers amongst us (this is nothing to do with David Icke BTW). According to a real study conducted by pair of physics professors at Michigan Technical University, there may be a way to locate time travelers—and it involves Twitter.

Just for the sake of argument, let’s pretend time travel is possible. Wouldn’t we know about it? Wouldn’t we be aware that we had just sat next to Oscar Wilde on the bus, or been chatting to Isaac Newton at the bar? The fact that we aren’t aware of any time travelers ought to suggest there aren’t very many rattling around in the infinite, eternal universe.

And human nature being what it is, you can bet some irresponsible scientific fucker would nip back to prehistoric time and infect mitochondrial Eve, the one woman from whom, according to some different mad scientists, we are all descended. Of course if this happened none of us would have been born so we would not know about it.

Published last month while critical sectors of the media were busy with their Christmas jollies, ‟Searching the Internet for evidence of time travelers” is a serious minded attempt to find real-world Marty McFlys by searching for information online that couldn’t have been posted without foreknowledge of the future.

Don’t laugh, it’s true. back in November I was reading that peter Capaldi was going to be the next Doctor Who. And in August I stumbled on a Tweet that said the weather would soon be getting cooler. Time is not what we think it is.

‟Were a time traveler from the future to access the Internet of the past few years, they might have left once-prescient content that persists today,” the authors speculate. ‟Alternatively, such information might have been placed on Internet by a third party discussing something unusual they have heard. Such content might have been catalogued by search engines such as Google…or Bing…or remain in posts left on Facebook…Google Plus…or Twitter.”

The future of humanity posted on Twitter – yeah, right.

Having visited the future on your behalf the Boggart Blog science correspondent predicts that if we do not close the universities and get the poor, mad clowns responsible for wasting our hard earned on this kind of shit back into padded cells so they are no longer a danger to themselves and others, they will surely destroy civilisation – or at least intelligent thought.

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2 thoughts on “PhD Scientist Published Academic Paper On Locating Time Travellers

  1. Jesus H. Christ operating the Tardis in a Cyberman costume.. here we go again.
    Cox has a tiresomely over-inflated (geddit) opinion of himself, ergo a massive f*off ego. Dangerous when combined with a fundamental lack of common sense, now re’ “time travel”.
    I suspect, however, that with him it’s more to do with shock value self-promotion to keep the old money wheel spinning via seeing into the future TV series/book sales etc.

    As with the “alien shapeshifter” industry, there’ll always be a mega market ( the great uneducated ) for science fiction being speculated as fact by scientists who don’t give a flying f*k about reality.

    * NB. Note how the seemingly endlessly-toted “manned mission to Mars” keeps getting pushed into the future by reality. Back in the late 60s days of Apollo, Nixon was bragging “easily by 1989, then by 1990 NASA was confidently predicting “by 2013”. Now it’s “2030… ish lol.
    Now there’s a brilliant example of time travel for ya.

    Like

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