Whadda we want boys? Sticky Balls

Important new for me of a certain age:

Whadda we want boys? Sticky Balls. When do we want ’em? Now!

I was probably as gobsmacked as you on first seeing this information; “Sticky Balls stop cancer from spreading. Visions of smearing Tate and Lyles Black Treacle over my scrotum before going out every day suddenly made cance seem like an attractive option.

And imagining my wife’s reaction when she had to wash my underwear made suicide by immersing myself in agricultural slurry an appealing prospect.

But it’s true apparently, according to the latest medical research there are great benefits to be had from sticky balls. According to research carried out at Cornell University, USA, “sticky balls” can destroy tumour cells in the blood and may prevent cancers spreading.

Scientists at Cornell report they have designed nanoparticles that stay in the bloodstream and kill migrating cancer cells on contact.

They said the impact was “dramatic” but there was “a lot more work to be done”. Well yeah, I imagine persuading men to have sticky balls will be tougher than selling vasectomies.

One of the biggest factors in life expectancy after being diagnosed with cancer is whether the tumour has spread to become a metastatic cancer. About 90% of cancer deaths are related to metastases,” said lead researcher Prof Michael King.

OK boys, get a supply of treacle in just to be ready.

3 thoughts on “Whadda we want boys? Sticky Balls

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