Google’s Wankermobile Self Driving Car Can’t Drive Itself

People are starting to trust Boggart Blog and our friend Little Nicky Machiavelli. That’s because we are always right. And we always try to sound a weeny bit humble when we say I told you so.

Recently the usual types got a bit huffy when we mercilessly mocked the much hyped Google self driving car, or Wankermobile because it looked like the kind of car you would get out of a Kinder Surprise egg (only the Google jobbie wouldn;t go as fast). Oh you are anti – science, you are anti progress, you are anti-road-safety, they said. We’re not any of those. Fatsally has a very high tech BMW, it’s fast and runs clean and has lots of gadgets, even a Sat Nav which Sally does not use because she isn’t brain dead and can read a map (that’s through growing up with three brothers) I’m not against safety but the only two accidents I’ve had in a forty odd yeard driving career occurred whem my car was standing still and the ones that hit me we going well under the speed limit. So statistically the faster I’m going the safer I am.

And as for the science bit, well let’s have the latest on the Google Wankermobile. Things are not going well we hear. As usual then, those semi autistic clowns at Google obsessed over the technology and didn’t think the practical considerations through properly.

from Auto World News (my emphasis)

Apparently the famous Google self-driving car isn’t that close to giving us hands-free transportation after all.

While Google’s fleet has safely driven more than 700,000 miles, the autonomous model relies so heavily on maps and detailed data that it can’t yet drive itself in 99 percent of the country, according to an MIT Technology Review report.

“The public seems to think that all of the technology issues are solved” with Google’s self-driving vehicle, said Steven Shladover, a researcher at the University of California, Berkeley’s Institute of Transportation Studies. “But that is simply not the case.”

Chris Urmson, director of the Google car team, has volunteered details on the car’s limits. He hopes the car will be ready by the time his 11-year-old is 16, or old enough to drive in the state of California.

“It’s my personal deadline,” said Urmson, as quoted by the MIT Review.

The Google car depends on detailed preparations where the car’s exact route is mapped out before the trip, a process far more intensive than the effort needed for Google Maps. Weather is also an issue: Google’s much-touted self-driving car has never maneuvered snow, and it’s not yet safe to drive in heavy rain either.

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2 thoughts on “Google’s Wankermobile Self Driving Car Can’t Drive Itself

  1. Time travel, jet packs for all, robots that clean all yer house…and now “cars that drive themselves” – the latest Tomorrow’s World jobbie racing down the sewer drain of “science-will-solve-all-probs” nonsense propositions from twerps posing as real world engineers.
    Definite LOL post, Jennie :))

    Like

    • I think a lot of people had not understood even the sensible looking autonomous cars from Merc. Toyota and General Motors would only give you a choice of shortest route of scenic route. Unable to take control yourself you couldn’t do what we did yesterday, set off intending to go to Clitheroe, changed our minds and headed for Guisburn and ended up having coffee and cakes in Settle. There was no point to that, we were just meandering. I guess people from planet Nerd would not understand meandering.

      Thus the Wankermobile and other driverless cars will appeal to a very limited market. I mean, who needs a car when you only leave the computer to open the door to the pizza delivery man.

      Like

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