Nice Work If You Can Get It

This is a satirical report on as US Federal job creation program from The New Yorker:

Sixty-four unskilled workers will report to new jobs in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday as part of a federal jobs program that provides employment for people unable to find productive work elsewhere.

The new hires, who have no talents or abilities that would make them employable in most workplaces, will be earning a first-year salary of $174,000.

For that sum, the new employees will be expected to work a hundred and thirty-seven days a year, leaving them with two hundred and twenty-eight days of paid vacation.

Some critics have blasted the federal jobs program as too expensive, noting that the workers were chosen last November in a bloated and wasteful selection process that cost the nation nearly four billion dollars.

But Prof. Davis Logsdon, a University of Minnesota economics professor who specializes in labor issues, said that the program is necessary to provide work “for people who honestly cannot find employment anywhere else. Expensive as this program is, it is much better to have these people in jobs than out on the street,” he said.

Borowitz is referring to the newly elected congress members who will be taking their seats this week. Reads will be pleased to learn that the UK government has not been left behind in its efforts to create new jobs for useless fuckers the otherwise unemployable. And unspecified number of people fortunate enough to have been selected for a similar scheme in the UK will take up their positions in early May.

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