Foreign Nurses Flee Lancashire

Ayup, yon nesh foreign buggers ist bahn fer’t gua whum acause um’s not unnerstan t’local lingo. We’st’nt be mithered abaht it, uz’ll ‘ave more pies fer uzsel’s nah.

Ah’ll sithi at chip shop.

Meat Pies – Lancashire Penicillin (Image source)

Foreign nurses hired by East Lancashire Hospital Trust are quitting the NHS because the north is nothing like London (FUCK ME, ISN’T IT? I HAVE NEVER NOTICED). A quarter of recent recruits have left, in part as they are unable to understand the regional accent.

Christine Pearson, the chief nurse for the East Lancashire Hospitals NHS Trust, told a recent board meeting that the new recruits were under the misapprehension that they would be moving to London, the Telegraph has reported.

(Yeah, London, Blackburn, Burnley, accrington, Clitheroe, Barnoldswick, they all sound so similar its an easy mistake to make)

“When they came to England they felt they were coming to maybe London, so that was one of the issues we had to work on,” she told colleagues, adding “I had a patient say to me ‘you’re not from round here’, so even if you live 25 miles down the road in Manchester such as me, you’ll always have language barriers.

(I get the same and not only was I born in Manchester, 25 miles down the road, I have lived in East Lancs for over thirty years. Perhaps it was the years I spent in Shropshire when young that confuses them. can’t possibly be the fact that I went to a posh school and picked up standard grammnar can it?)

The trust has been forced to give language and pronunciation lessons to the new recruits to help them better understand the local dialect. Words like “blood” and “bath” were causing problems for foreign nurses more used to hearing southern British accents.

(Yeah well ‘blahd’ and ‘baaaarth’ aren’t in any dictionary, not our fault Londeoners can’t speak English)

The course, introduced last June, also familiarised the recruits with local phrases such as “I’m starved”, which means “I’m cold” in Lancashire, and “am a get”, as well as more common colloquialisms such as “make us a brew”.

(No wonder these people are confused. It’s ‘I’m a gate’ which puzzled me for years until I worked out the homonym, ‘I’m a gait’ – I’m going)

But 23 year old Italian nurse Greta Veneruz, who had moved to Blackburn, said: “We learnt English like how people speak in London and when we came here it didn’t sound the same.”

(As I said, Londoners don’t talk proper like wot we do)

The Royal Blackburn and Burnley General hospitals, both of which are run by the East Lancashire Trust, have between them recruited more than 40 nurses from mainland Europe in the last year. Most are from Italy, but a number have also arrived from Romania and Portugal.

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