The Return Of Champagne Charlie

It has been a long time since Boggart Blog wrote about Champagne Charlie Kennedy, the former Lib Dem leader who inspired the party’s breakthrough from a fringe party with 20 seats in Parliament, mostly occupied by oddballs, mavericks and non – conformists, to a bunch of almost sixty sellouts who were happy to prop up one of the establishment parties in government, in return for a morsel of power.

Still, Kennedy was a decent man and a good leader. Unfortunately it all became to much for him, and in 2006 he stepped down having succumbed to the allure of the demon alcohol (still nobody has accused him yet of being involved in the Westminster Paedophile Ring so there’s something to be said for being permanently pissed.

We at Boggart Blog, who are not completely without compassion despite what our detractors may say,) feel somewhat responsible for Kennedy’s downfall. It must have been a terrible blow to his ego when we confused him with the ginger haired child actor who played Victoria Sugden in the soap Emmerdale. Obviously he suffered PTSD after reading that blog.

Emmerdale’s Victoria Sugden (left) – Charles Kennedy (right)

A few days ago Charles Kennedy popped up as a guest on BBC political panel show Question Time. He came across as ‘tired and emotional’. Some of the comments about him in internet discussion threads were deplorable however, like this exchange for example.

Boss Hogg • a day ago

“A Lib Dem source said ‘It was quite clear that he was not his usual self last night’.”

Confused, incoherent, and pissed. Seems he was exactly his usual self.

Sobloodyangry Boss Hogg • 21 hours ago

As soon as he opened his mouth, I said to the Mrs, ‘He’s blotto’.

Paul 1 Sobloodyangry • 20 hours ago

It took you that long? He’s always blotto! Which is at least some excuse. Anna Soubrey has no excuse at all!

Jingleballix Paul 1 • 10 hours ago

Soubrey is a complete and utter witch, and Natalie Bennett is a boring, ranting, incompetent dullard……I’d need a drink if I was going on TV with them, imagine being in the same green room.

A song for Charles Kennedy:
CHAMPAGNE CHARLIE

(Spoken)
I’ve seen a deal of gaiety throughout my noisy life,
With all my grand accomplishments I ne’er could get a wife;
The thing I most excel in is the P. R. F. G. game-
A noise all night, in bed all day, and swimming in champagne.

Chorus.
For Champagne Charlie is my name,
Champagne Charlie is my name;
Good for any game at night, my boys,
Champagne Charlie is my name,
Good For any game at night, my boys,
Champagne Charlie is my name;

The way I gained my title, ‘s by a hobby that I’ve got
Of never letting others pay, however long the shot;
Whoever drinks at my expense are treated just the same,
From dukes, lords,to cabmen down,I make them drink champagne
For Champagne Charlie is my name, &c.

From coffee drunk in supper rooms, from Poplar up to Pale,
All the girls on seeing me say what a champagne swell!”
The notion ’tis of every one, if ’twere not for my name,
And causing so much to be drunk, they’d never make champagne.
For Champagne Charlie is my name, &c.

Perhaps you fancy what I say is nothing else but chaff,
And only done, like other songs, to merely raise a laugh;
To prove that I am not in jest, each man a bottle of Cham.
I’ll stand, fiz round! yes, that I will, and stand it like a lamb.

For Champagne Charlie is my name etc.

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3 thoughts on “The Return Of Champagne Charlie

  1. Good one!
    He must have old boots for a liver – I feel like shite & can’t function with my usual semi-cohesion if I drink more than 10 units more than three daze running.

    They’re made of stern stuff in the Highlands, och tha distillery noo.
    ps shouldn’t that be (Slurred ) at the top?

    Like

  2. Perhaps the ginger hair gene is also associated with a liver made of stainless steel. A lot of Scots seem to possess that quality.

    Many of my genes come from the sub continent so I’ve never been a prodigious boozer but I can gulp down hot curries (and thanks to genetic attraction perhaps have managed to attract three Indian lovelies to my bed.

    Our blessings come in many forms, Charlie can keep his liver, I have my memories.

    Like

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