Shock, Horror! Millennials Safe Space Violated As Facebook Algo Accident Exposes Them To Diverse Ideas

Facebook founder and wannabe God – Emperor Mark Zuckerberg has always been an advocate of encouraging people not to think foor themselves because computers are smarter than humans and will always make better decisions. Algorithms know best.

Unfortunately CIA / NSA collaborator Zuckerberg is a computer nerd, (homo nerdius superfluous) a sub species that shares common ancestors with humans, chimps, gorillas and neanderthals but unlike modern humans did not develop the basic nous that is the foundation of all our cognitive abilities. He cannot think for himself and relies on computers to make his decisions. Lacking the ability to relate to other humans other than by treating them as machines, he assumes all hominids are the same as him.

Real humans (homo sapiens sapiens – man who knows he knows) knows (and knows he knows) the algorithm doesn’t always know best, in fact unless your DNA contains a significant input of genes specific to homo nerdius superfluous you will have observed that Amazons suggestions of books or records you might want, Google’s suggestions for sites you would benefit from visiting and Facebooks regular impersonation of Harry Enfield’s Annoying Neighbour Character, who stops you doing stuff you want to be doing by interrupting with the words, “YOU DON’T WANNA DO THAT”, the algorithms interruptions are so far off target it’s like firing a shotgun at an aircraft hangar from two yards and missing.

Late last month  (August 2016,) the Zuckerbugger’s zoons put an algorithm in charge of the Facebook “trending” feature, to select the most popular topics, articles and keywords on the web in a narrow timeframe and with due respect for the ‘safe space’ of millenials who can be traumatised if they encounter microaggrrrrressions in the form of controversial ideas or unorthodox opinions . The change was made necessary in the spring when the more delicate little flowers that use Facebook began to complain that the contract workers who modrated the news headline feature were not filtering articles that should have been blocked for political reasons. It was alleged that words like Trump and Republican were appearing.

In recent days however,  The Wall Street Journal reports, the “trending” lists have appeared more flawed than when humans were in charge. There have been false stories, misidentified keywords, and trivia in the place of more serious news items such as Taylor Swift’s new lipstick.

“This doesn’t seem like an appropriate solution,” said Jason Turcotte, assistant professor of communication at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona. “Algorithms don’t necessarily respond to news values or journalistic ethics. Algorithms respond to keywords, search terms and trends.”

In replacing the team who had run “trending,” Facebook  effectively redefined what it regards as news. Relying on an algorithm distances the company from what appears on the site—though the algorithm itself is written by humans.

However, as The Onion (comedically) explains, reliance on algorithms carries some big risks …

Assuring users that the company’s entire team of engineers was working hard to make sure a glitch like this never happens again, Facebook executives confirmed during a press conference Tuesday that a horrible accident last night involving the website’s algorithm had resulted in thousands of users being exposed to new concepts.

“Unfortunately, late Monday evening, a major failure in our news feed program allowed a significant number of users to come into contact with concepts unfamiliar to them,” said CEO Mark Zuckerberg, appearing contrite as he emphasized to reporters that the issue had been resolved and that it was now safe to visit the social media site again without fear of encountering any opinions, notions, or perspectives not aligning with one’s existing worldview.

“To those who were forced to read a headline they did not agree with when they visited Facebook yesterday, we are deeply sorry. It’s an inexcusable failing on our part if your viewpoints were not reinforced by what you saw onscreen. I want all Facebook users to know that you’ll never again encounter any ideas on our site that are in any way novel or ideologically challenging to you—that’s my personal promise.”

Zuckerberg then concluded the press conference by thanking users for their support, assuring them that a news article confirming their own individual political and personal biases would be directed to their news feeds with more information on Facebook’s policy.

But as WSJ notres, Facebook plans to use the algorithm to expand “trending.”

“A more algorithmically driven process allows us to scale Trending to cover more topics and make it available to more people globally over time,” Facebook said in a statement last month.

Several former curators now wonder if Facebook will simply get rid of the feature… especially if non-liberal, microagrrrressions start spreading non – conformist ideas into the mainstream. And that of course is what the ruling elites fear the most.

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