Covid Cops Catch Couple Having Outdoor Sex on Coldest Night for 26 Years

Under the headline “Makes You Proud To Be British” I read a story today of BoJo’s bully boys in blue, the UK’s COVID cops apprehending a couple of lovers for about a million breaches of lockdown regulations by having sex outdoors (on February 11, the coldest night of the century so far, with temperatures dipping close to minus five degrees celcius (26 farenheit).

The couple, who had driven out onto Dartmoor, a bleak and comfortless expanse of upland in south – west England, were observing social distancing as they were miles from anybody except the bizzies who were nosing around lokking for the kind of people who were unlikely to pose any threat in to harass them. If their offence was not wearing masks one wonders on what part of the body the covering should have been worn. Eventually the couple were sent on their way by officers enforcing the anti-coronavirus lockdown and reported for a breach of the regulations, which could mean heavy fines.

“Fornicating under the stars, on the moors, may seem like this years latest rom-com, but it is not an essential journey and certainly breaks social distancing guidance,” chided Tavistock Police in a sadly now-deleted tweet.

“Please continue to abide by Covid-19 legislation to help prevent the spread of Covid,” they added.

Members of the public who were perhaps not too concerned by the public health impact of an illicit fling in an isolated spot on a bleak and frozen moor appeared rather sympathetic to the amorous pair, however. Social media users took the view that the couple are “bloody heroes” for not only defying the government’s unlawful regulations, but for doing so in such a flamboyant and styish way thus shoing utter contempt for this tyrranous government and their efforts to keep us locked down forever.

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