A Reminder Of Life When We Had Pubs And Were Allowed To Go Out

Some children have returned to school today and I learned this morning we are now allowed to sit, a safe distance apart, on a park bench. This was a bugger, it mean me and my girlfriend had to get out of bed, put on clothes and go to the park in order to legally be together 🙂

Here’s a reminder of what life was like before COVID

A man wearing an expensive hat walks into a pub somewhere in England and orders a pint. After taking his cash the barman points out a notice, ‘customers are respectfully requested not to place hats on the seats in this bar.’
The man with the hat, being typical of the type of arrogant bastard who wears expensive hats, thinks “To hell with that, the bar is almost empty, it will not stop anybody sitting down if I put my hat on the next barstool,” and he takes off his hat, places it down and settles dow to enjoy his beer.
A couple of minutes later he hears a snarly, slobery, gnashy sound and looks up to see a large demonic dog emerging from behind the bar and eyeing his hat. Just as he is about to ask the barman, “Should that aggressive dog be loose in the bar?” the dog launches itself at his hat, grabs it, shakes it and tears it to shreds.
“Look at that,” the drinker protests to the barman, “my hat is ruined.”
Not my problem mate, I only work here and I showed you the notice,” the barman says and calls the landlord who hurries out of the living quarters asking what the problem is.
“Look at the state of my hat, have you any idea how much hats like that cost?”
“Not my problem mate, you saw the notice and ignored it,” the landlord replies nonchalantly.
“Not your problem,” the customer storms, “Not your problem. Have you any idea who I am? The chairman of the licensing committee is a friend of mine. Now are you going to compensate me for the ruination of my hat?”
“Why should I, you had fair warning and chose to ignore it, any court in the land will support me.”
“Oh! Oh really! So that’s you attitude is it?” the customer blusters.
“No mate,” the landlord replied, “Its your ‘at ‘ee chewed.”

Life is a tale told by an idiot
(hat – tip Macbeth – Act 5 Scene 5, Shakespeare)
A compilation of British humour or humor if you prefer

Greenteeth Elsewhere: [ The Original Boggart Blog] … [ Daily Stirrer.shtml ]…[Little Nicky Machiavelli]… [ Ian’s Authorsden Pages ]… [ It’s Bollocks My Dears, All Bollocks ] … [ Minds ] … [ <a href=https://medium.com/@greenboggartIan on Medium ] … [Scribd]…[Wikinut] … [ Boggart Abroad] … [ Grenteeth Bites ] … [ Latest Posts ] [Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] … [Latest Posts] … [ Tumblr ] … [ Authorsden blog ] … [Daily Stirrer Headlines]

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