Aliens Discovered Near Earth. Don’t Panic!

Douglas Adams has done it again. While the wankers at CERN were flushing shitloads of taxpayers money down the toilet in their pursuit of a chimera, while the American Church Of Scienceology cult aka SETI are talking about travelling to galaxies 100 light years distant where there might, just might, be stars that might, just might, have planets that might, just might, be capable of supporting life forms similar to those on earth if there is the right balance of oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and enough water on the planets surface and the day / night temperature differential is OK and about a billion other things are as they must be, another of Adams’ predictions from Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy turns out to be correct.

Remember the bit in H2G2 when an invasion fleet from a highly advanced alien civilization, en route to earth on a conquer and subjugate mission arrived on our planet only to be swallowed in its entirity by a small dog?

Well read this:

British scientists believe they have found small bugs from outer space in the Earth’s atmosphere.

Tiny organisms were discovered by University of Sheffield experts on a research balloon they had sent 27km (16.7 miles) into the atmosphere during last month’s Perseids meteor shower.

The microscopic bugs were detected when the balloon landed back on the ground in Wakefield, West Yorkshire.

But the scientists insist the samples could not have been carried from the Earth’s surface into the stratosphere – the second layer of our atmosphere, which stretches up to 50km (31 miles) from the ground.

Strict tests were taken to avoid any contamination, they said.

(Full story)

So while the science worshippers’ high priest Brian Cox is talking about preparing to travel impossible distances 100 light years when light travels at 186,000 miles per second and our fastest spacecraft goes ten miles per second with a following solar wind, to meet highly advanced aliens like those in Star Trek or Doctor Who, the aliens were within reach for decades. And for once I can’t say scientists never see the big picture because while they were looking at the big Sci – Fi picture on their plasma screen or at the local multiplex, they actually needed a microscope to see our first alien encounter.

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The Number of the Beast

Number of the Beast

Returning from a visit to my mother yesterday I had just left the motorway and joined the A666 towards Clitheroe. Glancing at my instrument panel my eye was drawn to the trip meter just as it turned to 666. I do not use the trip meter and normally am unaware of its presence so what mysterious force drew my gaze to it? Was someone or something trying to get a message to me? A coincidence the cynical might say, but how often do we encounter two instances of The Number Of The Beast in our daily lives. I am normally a level headed sort myself, always ready to scoff at those American fundamentalists who see the hand of the Devil in everything. But sometimes you just get a feeling deep in your guts…..

With my attention back on the road as I headed eastward I noticed an unusually dense black cloud on the horizon, not a raincloud but something more sinister. As I watched I saw that it was an enormous flock of Ravens; moving as one creature the constantly swirled and turned choreographed by that mystical force morphic resonance until when they filled my entire field of vision, at which point they formed into a monstrous shape, the head of a primeval horned God.

Wanting only to get home as quickly as I could I pressed on, disregarding the shadowy figure of a black cowled monk floating on the periphery of my vision. Once safely inside the house I described on the floor a pentacle of salt and putting up some garlic sandwiches and a bottle of water from a sacred spring took refuge in my home made sanctuary where I spent a long night fingering a silver ankh until the bright dawn drove away the negative energies.

I feel rather weak and exhausted today but will be back online as soon as the large black dog that took up residence on the lawn just after I arrived home has departed.

BUT REALLY I knackerd something deep in my very fragile hip while trying to negotiate the lunar landscape in front of my mother’s flat in Morecambe, and had to rest for a couple of days. The A666 is true though, it’s a road the bikers just love. The trip meter bit is also true and that would be enough to give some people the squits.

Back to proper blogging tomorrow I hope.