Best Headline Of The Day Is From The Daily Mail

OK, those of you who feel you must throw a hissy fit at any mention of The Daily Mail can fuck the fucking fuck off, now. This story amused me.

Russian Nikolaev Bolloxov recovering in hospital after his ordeal

Married TV actor wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN after he is drugged in Russian bar by attractive blonde working for organ traffickers

Actor Dmitry Nikolaev, 30, was chatted up in a bar by a blonde who approached him after a performance and asked if she could buy him a drink .

He said she flirting with him then invited him to a sauna, and though he was married, he agreed to go with her.

They kissed and had some more beer and after that the actor remembers nothing,’ Moscow police said.

He woke up next day at a bus stop, feeling acute pain, and with blood on his trousers. Later in hospital, he was told that his testicles had been removed and that ‘it was done like proper surgery by someone with a medical education’. The operation was conducted in a ‘skillful way’, said police, who believe his beer was spiked by an unknown drug.

Now I have in my time explained away love bites and scratches on my back to Mrs. T, but I think even the most experienced philanderer would have trouble persuading his wife the absence of bollocks was due to a bizarre gardening accident

And my other question is who the fuck would buy a pair of second hand bollocks?
Read more at The Daily Mail:

Why Is Britain More Elitist Than Ever?

The (still) lovely Helen Mirren, awarded a BAFTA fellowship last night for being all – round wonderful, said in her acceptance speech that acting has become the preserve of kids with rich parents.

Dame Helen said “only kids with wealthy parents can get into the acting profession”, and she is absolutely right of course. Thirteen years of complete misrule by Labour, the party of billionires, lawyers and academics hate the working class so much they deliberately made British society more stratified and hierarchic that it was under the old nobility. All the decent jobs are in closed shop professions.

And the condemed coalition have done nothing to redress the balance.

I’ve nothing against posh kids going into acting of course. Be nice if a few of them could act better than planks however. Here are a few who can’t manage a glottal stop between them.

And now a few from the era when most people were so poor they had the arse out of their trousers, some truly grats whose childhoods were so poor they couldn’t affor to have the arse out of their trousers, so they had to act as if they did.

Michael Caine
Tom Courtnay
Rita Tushingham
Gary Oldman
Christopher Eccleston
Shiela Hancock
Ray Winstone
Bob Hoskins
Gerard Butler
Julie Walters
Sean Connery
Jane Horrocks
Peter O’Toole
Richard Burton
Naomie Harris
And of course Helen Mirren herself – though her Dad was from a wealthy Russian family he worked as a cab driver in Britain.

Not bad from memory.

You couldn’t make it up.

Leonardo DiCaprio must have missed the irony in his statement, “I will fly around the world doing good for the environment.”

So we are left wondering will he use scheduled airlines or his private jet.

According to a press release from Mother Nature Network the “Hands off my Parts” campaign “is a week-long effort tied to WWF’s Stop Wildlife Crime campaign to raise awareness and mobilize support to end the illegal trade of wildlife.”

So polluting the fuck out of the upper atmosphere is going to help save the planet? Or is the stunt really about saving the notoriously malodorous actor’s career?

Boggart Blog Exclusive: We Reveal How Conronation Street Kiddie Fiddler Was Caught

Shock news today was the arrest of Coronation Street actor Michael Le Vell who plays car mechanic Kevin Webster in the soap. He was charged with several counts of sex abuse on minors

Boggart Blog can reaveal it was Le Vell’s tweet to his fans that put the cops onto him.

It read, “Kevin in working on a fourteen year old Escort.”

Which makes us wonder if those minors Michael allegedly fiddled with were Morris Minors.

Pissed Off The Plane

French actor Gerard Depadieu shocked fellow passengers when he pissed in the aisle of a passenger aircraft bound from Paris – Charles de Gaulle, to Ireland.

Depardieu claimed he was taken short during the flight and could not make it to the toilet. In desperation he tried to piss in a bottle but missed.

Fellow passsengers however said the actor simply stood up, stepped into the ailse said “Je veux pisse” or J’ai besoin de pisse” depending on which news bulletin you listen to, tipped out his todger and opened the floodgate.

Depardieu, a notorious toper, said he was not drunk, in fact he was off the booze and had not had a drink for two months.

Sounds to us as if he had not had a piss for two months either.

Read full story on BBC News