Whoa There, Fiat, This Is A Family Newspaper

So there I was just flicking through BBC’s copy of the Independent when I came across an item advertizing the Fiat 500.
The blurb went something along the lines of “We’ve made our little car a bit bigger so if you have a family you can still have a cinquecento.”

But then it continued that if you didn’t have a family you might like to park up somewhere private and get down to the business of trying to create one.

What???

This is a family newspaper!

Aren’t these organs of information dissemination meant to be a little bit responsible?

Should they really be featuring ads encouraging such wanton behaviour in public?

Or is it safe advertising your cars capacity for flagrant fornification as long as it comes in the poly-bagged section?

A couple of days later we followed a bus with the following advert displayed on the back,

“Child restraints in cars save lives.”

Perhaps for all Cinquecento drivers that should read,
“Restraint in cars saves births.”

RyanAir or Mastercard?

Mybe it’s because I’m flying out to Dublin for a few days on Sunday, but when I saw H&M advertizing bikini by featuring a lithesome young gel in a skimpy two piece with “bikini top £3.99” to the side of her left breast, it didn’t make me want to go out and buy one, it made me wonder just how much the unpriced bikini bottom was… a bit like those RyanAir ads that say “Fly to Spain for just £1!!!” and then when you take up their offer you discover it costs £897.99 to fly home again.

Either that or it was a Mastercard ad

Bikini top £3.99

Bikini bottom priceless

for everything else there’s Mastercard

High Flyers Wanted

The European Space Agency is advertising in the national press for…..ASTRONAUTS. The advert lists no formal qualifications but does require applicants to be highly motivated, flexible, emotionally stable(?) and gregarious. It also welcomes applications from women, but obviously not of child bearing age or menopausal as these two states completely negate the emotionally stable bit.
BoggartBlog has managed to get hold of a supporting letter from one of the aspiring candidates.

I am a brite artikulate hi-ly motivated person who can in spyer my workmates. and who all ways gives the best of my self at skool I got lots of GCSE’s’ two meny two cownt reeally and some B TECs and. some NVcuse i got all the proper 1s that the guvurnment wont you to get and I got some uvvers two so i think i would be good at being an
astronaut in the past i have worked in space ecsplorashun my first job was captin of Fireball XL6 this was a bit of a let down cos we often had trubble getting it lornched but it wasn’t, my fault my frend steve zodiac did orlrite in the uvver rocket XL5 from their i was recrooted by mRtracey to pielot Thunderbird3 and man the spacestayshun )tb5( wen his boys cudnt do it like wen thay was on hollyday
or purly this gayv me ecsspeeryns of wurking wiv aMerIcans and from they,re i joynd the USS Enterprize wurking wiv captinslog and missterspok on a 5 yr misshon two seek owt nu life and nu sivillizashuns and two fined the final frunt ear that captinslog wos all ways on abowt then i whent two wurk 4 the mpraw he was bilding a big nu space ship corld the deaf star it was daft vaders i’dea and they needed sum one to fly it and they herd how gud i was and they sent a robot to fined me wiv a messaje from daft and the mpraw and a prinses and look sky warker but han so low wos gelus and he tryd to stop us and thair wos a big fite and the deaf star got brok and so that is y i am appliing to work for u.