The Charge Of The Anti-enlightenment Brigade

I don’t know if many of you remember London’s Atheist Bus a few years ago. It toured the city bearing adverts that read: ‘There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.’ and was a great success[ … ] this demonstrates the Sheeple – like tendencies of those who claim they have reason on their side: the religious propagandist with the sandwich board saying ‘repent, the end is nigh’ was always the subject of jokes. Why do the opposing side now feel the need to parade high tech sandwich boards saying, “no need to repent, the end isn’t nigh’?

The Charge Of The Anti-enlightenment Brigade

Merry Atheistmas

After reporting yesterday on the American church of political correctness which is screaming for black Santas to end the white supremacist grip on Christmas, we look today at another phenomenon we will no doubt be importing from America soon. Atheist Churches.

Did you step back in horror when you read that. “Churches for people who don’t believe in God, I thought that was The church Of England’s job” you might well have exclaimed. And yet The First Church Of Christ The Non Believer (they’re not really called that) is one of the fastest growing religions in North America. And before you get the idea that an atheist church is just what we need to help put an end to irrational beliefs, let me tell you these people are crazier than Christian or Islamic fundamentalists. In it’s recruiting spiel the Atheist Church Of Canada states, “Atheists believe that life is logical.”

Anybody who believes life is logical is either stark raving bonkers or has not been living on this planet. Just spend a bit of time browsing through Boggart Blog’s back catalogue to understand how stupid a person would have to be to believe life is logical. Life is insane.

Over in the USA the urge to turn everything into a religion (even atheism as you have seen) is leading to all sorts of strange behaviour. Christians are afraid to wish people Merry Christmas because they have been told by evangelical atheists it will cause offence.

Well as far as I know nobody has yet been shot for wishing somebody Merry Christmas and they shoot each other for anything over there, but what a sad state of affairs when these atheists (who are not really non believers as, being strictly logical, you have to accept there is a God in order to not believe in him,) feel they have to be offended on behalf of others who simply can’t be arsed.

But enough of the kind of atheists who on being wished Merry Christmas are wont to reply, “Don’t try to include me in your irrational, superstitious beliefs motherfucker,” what about the atheists who are challenging Christmas traditions like Santa with their own Atheistmas celebrations. The Atheist Santa who is in some places competing with traditional Santa and equal rights Santa? The Friendly Atheist website does not have a problem with Santa in fact they think children growing out of belief in Sana is good training for growing out of the belief in God. Which might be a very good point, I can’t remember having ever really believed in God so I’m not the right person to comment.

I do remember asking thinks like “Was Jesus really born in a stable?” and being told it was all just stories however. And that is why I have no problem with Santa but do have a problem with those whingeing, self righteoust idiots who call themselves Skeptics you know like the crappiest Pagans insist on spelling magic ‘magick’ coz the letter k is so kewl. Can you imagine how much poorer the world would be without King Arthur or Robin hood, with no Greek myth nor Grimms fairy tales, with all folklore and legend, fiction and fantasy abolished to please a bunch of dull minded sad acts who need to go to a non-God church to affirm their belief that life is logical?

Meanwhile as if Santa was not in enough trouble with politically correct types and atheists, there is a row brewing over who owns him. It is not a case of Microsoft trying to patent Santa as they tried to patent the alphabet a few years ago, the row is over the origins of this pot bellied, chimney mountaineer. Rows over whether Father Christmas is Russia, German, Czech, Swedish or Norwegian have gone on for years. This year however things look much more dangerous as, fresh from their failures to resolve disputes in Syria, Mali, Yemen, Egypt and Iraq, the United Nations have involved themselves.

A German heritage organisation has applied for Father Christmas, in his specifically German form, to be added to the official Unesco list of 250 items that make up the “Intangible Cultural Heritage” of Germany.

Backed by an annual budget of $8 million, the UNESCO intangible heritage list recognises cultural traditions that are at risk of disappearing (due to atheists being offended by them?), or are only important to certain sub cultures.

A few traditions recently included on the list give us a sense of what it is about: the Paach corn veneration ritual celebrated in Guatemala; the Empaako child-naming system practised by the Batooro, Banyoro, Batuku, Batagwenda and Banyabindi tribes of west Uganda; and the “Mediterranean diet” of Portugal, Italy, Spain, Greece and Morocco (surely more tangible than intangible).

So where does Santa fit in? He is after all pretty global. And ecuminical. Perhaps in Germany instead of leaving him a nip of brandy and a mince pie (no wonder he’s pot bellied, the old soak) they leave him a sausage and a glass of Schnapps? It’s only a matter of time before the health fascists start kicking off about his lifestyle as they are currently pontification about the unhealthy lifestyles of other people who aren’t real.

We say hands off Santa, he is not Christian or atheist, he’s pagan, and if he likes bandy and mince pies when in Britain but sausages and Schnapps in Germany it’s his business or a vodka martini when he meets James Bond in Never Never Land it’s his business.

Christmas Shelter

The Best Atheist Is A Pagan Pantheist Atheist

We have reported many times on the phenomenon of the militant atheists who reject god but worship science (Mathematics is the mind of God – Dr. Michio Kaku) which means they are not really atheists, they just have a different God.

Thus these people are no more atheists that worshippers of the Abrahamic religions who refuse to believe in all gods except one.

So why are Pantheist Atheists superior atheists to both?

atheist pantheist

Atheists get the Christian bird (or dog or cat or tortoise)

In yet another of those “only in America” type stories we learn that a group of atheists have show humanist charity in offering to take in pets left behind on Earth when Christian families float up to heaven after all their clothes fall off in the event Christian writings refer to as the rapture.

Fundamentalist Christians throughout America but mainly in the deep south (cue theme tune from “Deliverance”) are convinced Armageddon is very close. If you are not up to speed on Armageddon it is the final battle in which the forced of good (Big Business) take on the Antichrist ( ’rabs, turrrists, pepl of Evelyn Tent and ’slamic funny mentalists) in the war to end all wars. All this is revealed in the Book of Revelations. People who, like me, have read a little history (I have! Well, I’ve watched Sharpe.) are aware Armageddon, literally The Battle Of Medged, took place in WW1. The British won which must prove God is an Englishman. That will piss off those Yank s for sure.

What is worrying the Christian pet lovers is not what will happen to the value of their homes when bl… sorry, unrighteous folks are left to take over the world but what will happen to their pets. Will the pets of the righteous be raptured up to heaven or will those Christian dogs, cats, goldfish etc. be left here on Earth to fend for themselves? The Book of Revelations does not mention any domestic animals but the way it talks about The Great Beast who seems to belong to The Great Whore Babylon gives the impression that heaven operates a “no pets” policy.

Well now the righteous can rapture off without any worries. An American humanist group has set us a scheme in which Christians will pay Atheist animal lovers an annual fee in return for an Atheist promise to take in the pets of the righteous when the chosen ones are lifted up to paradise stark bollock naked.

Somehow I think the pets will be relieved to be moving in with people whose clothes aren’t going to fall off.

Read the full story of the Atheist Pet Care scheme

Armageddon (comic verse by Ian Thorpe)

Militant Atheists Miss The Bus

Man’s Best Friend

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

and don’t forget all the other Greenteeth Multi Media pages…
Greenteeth Multi Media
Greenteeth Comedy Pages
A Tale Told By An Idiot
Ian at Authorsden

The faithful atheists of Genoa.

Remember that kerfuffle about the advertising campaign on London buses for atheism and the row it caused?

Not the row in which the progressive bendy buses were insisting there is no god of buses while the more traditional Routemasters were still intent on worshipping the god BoJo who they believe has led them out of the wilderness and gave them a homeland that stretched from Romford to Uxbridge, but the row about the adverts telling people: “There is probably no God, now stop worrying and enjoy your life.”
Many of us non-theists were outraged by the wussiness of that “probably” but that’s atheists for you. You have to acknowledge the possibility of a god existing in order to not believe in him / her / it. If there is no god there is no point either believing or disbelieving.

People should have the courage of their convictions.

Italian atheists have set a far better example. An advertising campaign on buses in Genoa states quite plainly: The bad news is God does not exist, the good news is you don’t need him.”

No wussy probabilities there, that is quite definite, something a non – theist like me could relate to in fact.

It’s still not enough to make me believe in buses though.

Andrew Brown finds the Atheist ads silly

If the uncertain atheists want a cause to rally to they could unite against Nu Labour fascism before more of our civil rights are stolen. The latest atrocity is the granting to police of the power to cancel any live music gig they deem to pose a terrorist threat.

While Atheism is just embarking on its journey to collective insanity, religion has always been for those who are mad as a box of frogs. Why for instance are Astrologers barred from entering the priesthood? Find out in God’s Little Careers Consultants.

Atheists Miss The Bus

Have you heard about the half-baked scheme to put adverts for atheism on London buses?

Assuming The Lord Our Bozza gives the OK (he may be quite protective about his beloved Routemasters) you may soon see a fleet of buses bearing the text, “There is probably no God, now stop worrying and enjoy your life.”

Probably? PROBABLY? Talk about a cop out. it would make me ashamed to be an atheist, except I’m not an atheist, I’m a non-theist. Probably no God is wussy. Do you hear American evangelical preachers saying “Well if you sin guys, God will probably cast you down into hell. Hell no.

ABANDON YOUR SINFUL WAYS AND WORSHIP THE LORD OR YOU WILL BURN IN ETERNAL FIRE,” they yell. Not a shred of doubt about it. Would a Muslim fundamentalist say “If the infidel insults Islam, Allah will probably destroy them? I think not.

Were I to turn up in heaven the only person more surprised than be would be God himself. You see I’m a non – theist. As God can only exist in the minds of those who believe God has never existed in my mind. Belief is a very personal thing so nobody can impose their personal God on me. I cannot be punished by that which I choose not to create, there is no probably about it.

Assuming when we say God we mean the God of Christianity and more specifically the God of the Protestant reformation, the fire and brimstone guy with the pithy commandments and the fuck off beard, far from being The Ancient Of Days he’s just a young whippersnapper really, 2600 years old at the most. Before that people were smarter, they knew the gods did not exist in the way cheese and mountains exist but gods did supply a convenient peg to hang some very complex ideas on. This suited the kind of people ho like to avoid thinking about complex things because it makes their head hurt.

Modern athesists, the noisy ones at least – most of us just get on with our lives – tend to be scientists. Now I have often irritated scientists by pointing out that they love science because it offers certainties. Ant that is, is it not, exactly what belief offers believers. It is this need for certainty that leads to bus molesting atheists to qualify their lack of belief with a probably. Now with that in mind I could say I don’t believe in atheists on the grounds that those who are constantly yelling “I’m an atheist” crave the kind of crutches that religion has always provided for the emotionally unstable. But should people who unwittingly trying to turn science into a religion (The Church of Scienceology?)really be advertising atheism on buses. And is their campaign legal, decent, honest and truthful?” After all if their view of science is as something that has dogmas, a creed, items of faith and so on. Such people are not really free thinkers are they? They bow to the received wisdom of the High Priests of Science.

When such people demand that we respect them for their intellect, objectivity and rational thinking perhaps we should tell them we pity their insane faith in logic, reason and order. Such people are simply clinging to a different set of certainties to religionists.

In putting adverts of buses the trendy London NuLab atheists show they have truly missed the bus. True non – believers are not worried about what people who follow a faith are doing and have no time for evangelising, we are too busy enjoying our lives, after all we only get the one. People of faith are not worried about God, they think it’s the rest of us who should be worrying.

The kind of people who are worrying about God are the logical thinkers who are saying “Yeah, well, speaking as a, like, rational dude, there’s, you know, probably no God; if we take an evidence based approach the evidence is overwhelmingly against the existence of a divine being but you can, like, never be absolutely certain until the case can, like, be scientifically tested under controlled conditions and the, like, findings published in an academic paper for peer review.”

Hardly likely to win the battle of hearts and minds is it? Certainly not mine anyway and you can be sure I will not be seen riding on an atheist bus. I don’t believe in buses you see.

Atheists Miss The Bus
The Atheist Bus

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