Da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da Bat Flu

Our world was not turned upside down this moring by a story reporting a new health threat that could kill tens of millions millions hundreds of thousands thousands a few people worldwide.

“For the first time, scientists have found evidence of flu in bats, reporting a never-before-seen virus whose risk to humans is unclear. “

Bat Flu? Will it be as dangerous and Bird Flu and Swine Flu which both caused mass hyestreria in medical science, the health professions and the political establishment and the symptoms of which caused massive swelling of Big Pharma’s profits.

Both were treated with indifference by the public of course, and being pissed off by the lack of fear and panic they engendered both these mass killers went away without disrupting the life of the nation.

Will Bat Flu be any different? Well it seems to us very much like a disease we reported a few years ago. And back then, despite a big furore in some parts of the world, nobody died.

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Swine Flu? No worries, you’ll just put on a few pounds

Going Batty For A BJ?

Fancy a BJ? Not a blow job but a bat job. Bats are into oral sex it seems. According to natrualists who study bats for a living (well someone has to do it, more than two-thirds of female short-nosed (bet that’s handy) fruit bats (Cynopterus sphinx) performed fellatio on their sexual partners, and that they were rewarded with longer bouts of intercourse as a result.

I’m saying nothing OK.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Holy Bats In The Balcony (Bra), Batman

Ah the link between animals and bras, probably as old as the bra itself.
We used to have ‘Sheepdog bras’ – round ’em up and point ’em out.
Then a chap might say to a well endowed lady oozing out of her brassiere, “If you’re selling those puppies can I have the one with the pink nose?”
Then came Trinny and Susannah and the world became wise to ‘the chicken fillet’, a piece of foam shaped like a chicken fillet, which slipped into the lower, outer half of a bra gave a startling improvement in cleavage.

Today Boggartblog brings you news of the latest invention, the bat bra.
Secreted in the bra, a baby bat adds uplift, an interesting vibrating sensation and can also help you find your way home when you’ve been out on the razz and your legs insist in walking you in circles.
The perfect gift for the ladette everywhere!
An added bonus is the look of pure revulsion on a chap’s face when he comes across not the expected chicken fillet or wad of tissue paper but a breathing, squirming bat!
You can guarantee he will never bother you again.

A hotel receptionist from Norwich found a baby bat in her bra…four and a half hours after she put the bra on.
Makes you wonder what it was hanging upside down off for all that time if it took her so long to notice it.