Proud To Be Pissed – A New Year Message for readers.

Boggart Blog’s New Year Message to our readers is “be proud of your heritage, get bladdered.”

Despite repeated Government warnings of the health hazards of binge drinking which suggest it is a recent phemonnonomonxxx phnemnioxxxxx pfemonionxxxxx trend (sorry we’ve had a couple in the editorial office)binge drinking is a longstanding British tradition.
Hazel Blears who is minister for saying very silly things issued a statement to the effect that the British are not ready to adopt continental drinking patterns.

Too Bloody Right we’re not. We enjoy getting rat – arsed. The Roman historian Tacitus, writing in the first century AD said, “The Britons have a tendency when feasting to drink ale or wine until they fall into a stupor.” Julius Caesar had first noted the trend a hundred years earlier. “They are formidable fighters but unreliable due to their habit of drinking heavily before battle,” he noted.

So forget the shame attached to drunkenness, that is just an invention of the nanny state. Let’s welcome the New Year by proclaiming to the world that we the British people are Proud To Be Pissed.

RELATED POSTS:

Acohol Abuse Will Kill 250,000 A Year Unless Governmnt Acts say Control Freak Doctors

As many as a quarter of a million people will die from alcohol abuse over the next two decades unless the Government takes the problem as seriously as it did smoking, health experts have warned. Deaths from liver disease have …

An Inspirational Old Queen

Although she died in 2002 The Queen Mother (God Bless Her) is still managing to be an inspiration to us all. Especially, it turns out, to the binge drinkers amongst us.

A new book out this week, written by the Queen Mum’s former butler or equerry or chief cook and bottle washer reveals that is spite of her only being fourteen inches tall the old girl was a formidable piss artist consuming on average more than the nanny state’s recommended weekly intake for women per day!

Her drinking day began with a pre lunch aperitif, a gin and Dubonnet which, as the quick witted will immediately realise, is actually two drinks. Lunch itself was accompanied by wine and finished off with a glass of port. At least five units down the hatch and the sun is only just over the yardarm. Naval terminology is appropriate here as the QM was Lord Admiral of the “Cinque Ports” (or was that “sinks port”?)

Wine was an essential accompaniment for all meals at Clarence House. A doctor once suggested that in order to help reduce her consumption she should drink water at the table.

“Water,” she replied, “isn’t that the stuff fish fuck in?” Actually that is not true, it was Hollywood comedian W.C. Fields who said those words, but I think its funny and Boggart Blog never sacrifices a joke for the sake of the truth.

An afternoon nap helped see off the effects of the lunch session and then old Lizzie was ready for her “golden hour” as she called it, cocktails at six. Properly mixed Martinis are another three units which was ideal preparation for dinner which came with more wine and port. After that the old dear would get into the day’s serious drinking, shots of gin usually, or brandy sometimes.

There are more and more signs emerging that the nanny state is planning a campaign to demonise drink similar to the one that made pariahs of tobacco smokers so we should all take heart from and follow the example of the QM. Medics may say that excessive drinking shortens life but if death aged one hundred and one is premature , I’ll settle for it.