Ghandi, Buddha, science tits and some common sense,

Recently I have found it hard to be amusing on this blog. The news being reported by mainstream media is a parody of what is actually going on in our world, and it is very difficult to parody a parody. Likewise when we try to satirise the antics of government supra national bureaucracy and corporations that are obviously telling us lies and we are then attacked by ‘useful idiots’ who are eager to tell us these same fascistic polictical and commercial organisations are wholly benign and we simply are not qualified to question them, the satirists task becomes impossible.

Earlier I was looking at a thread on an article about climate change which a science tit had claimed the notorious and totally discredited ‘hockey stick’ graph was right after all. One regular commenter in that forum who claims to be a science tit said, “The hockey stick was always right, the science is settled and only right wing nutters are interested in trying to pick at the theory until it unravels. A consensus of scientists agreed Mann’s hypothesis was correct and so it must be accepted as fact; that is how science works.”

Um, no it’s not actually. Science works by sceptics picking at the fabric of a theory until it unravels. If the hypothesis has any worth it does not unravel, then it can be considered a scientific fact.

I’m constantly reminded these days, when I encounter those people who wave their educational qualifacations at us or tell us “I’m a scientist,” as if that will put us in awe of their superior intellect as they parrot the propaganda of the govrnment – corporate alliance of a scene in The Wizard Of Oz (not my favourite film I hasten to point out)

Dorothy and her companions, the cowardly lion, the tin man and the straw man have arrived in Oz to ask the Wizard to grant their wishes. The straw man asks for a brain. The Wizard whose magic, as any fule kno, relies on smoke and mirrors, tells him, “If you want people to admire your intelligence you don’t need a brain, all you need is a diploma.”

how true those words have become in our modern, crazy world. Still I can take comfort from the words of Gandhi:

‘When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it – always.’ ― Mohandas K Gandhi.

And if you want to discover the truth, The Buddha has some wise advice:

Believe nothing you hear or are taught without first testing it against your own experience and common sense.

Conspiracy Theory Bloggers To Blame For Terrorism, Debt Crisis, Smelly Farts and everything – official.

The corporate – financial cartel controlled media is now claiming Boston Bomber Tamerlan was influenced by online conspiracy sites.

Let’s not go anywhere close to anything that might bemall a s part of the truth or raise even the teeniest hint of a slight possibility that there may be just a smidgin of anger involved over daily news stories of his fellow Muslims, including innocent woman and children, being slaughtered by endless drone strikes. Unmanned drones are more provocative to a mindset that is still driven by honour, vengeance and tribal loyalty. A man with an AK47 can shoot at a bomber plane. He will not hit the pilot but he might feel better. But a drone is seen as a cowardly weapon because its pilot is hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away.

Using drones as the main strike weapon is bound to provoke terror attacks.

And of course neither this nor any other terrorist attack on the USA or its interests could possibly have anything to do with the unequivocal support for Israel despite repeated documented war crimes and with hundreds of UN resolutisons against Israel being blocked by a single veto vote – The United States.

But what of these ‘conspiracy websites’. Well Boggart Blog is not one although we try our best and have actually made it onto a couple of the nuttier hate lists which publish conspiracy theories about how politically incorrect blogs are all funded by Big Koch. But how are conspiracy sites to blame? Did Jeff Rense, What Really Happened, David Icke, Steve Quayle, Activists Post, Before It’s News or conspiracy forums like Above Top Secret radicalise the Chechen boys? Did they publish reams of Jihadist propaganda. Did Dick Puddlecote Anna Raccoon or Guido Fawkes promise 72 virgin houri to martyrs? Did Obnoxio The Clown describe Barack Obama and his government as ‘cunts’? (Obnoxio describes everyone as cunts.) How did American and British liberatrian bloggers who often complain about the Islamisation of our societies influence a couple of nutters to Bomb the Boston marathon?
Or was it that those bloggers and web publishers who refuse to be told what they can and cannot discuss are pissing of the corporate – financial cartel because while nobody trusts mainstream media, politicians, scientists, lawyers or anybody who claims authority any more, bloggers get people thinking and talking.

So there you have it, none of the United States actions that Muslims perceive as attacks against Islam are to blame for terrorism. Oh no, it’s those nasty Conspiracy Theory bloggers, it’s all their fault. The American government and mainstream media are not paranoid, only a nutty right wing conspiracy theorist would say they are.

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Andy Burnham, Children’s Saviour Or Cock Fish Asks Mr. Eugenides

Good to see one of the more hilariously foul mouthed bloggers from pre – 2010 is still in the game. Mr Eugenides, the bad tempered baby blogger is blogging at Think Scotland. Here’s a sample:

The latest insult to our intelligence emanates from Andy Burnham, a pair of eyelashes that used to be in the Government. By his own account, he is a fuckwit of limited intelligence. He buys cereals and soft drinks, thinking because of their marketing that they are healthy, but then discovers – to his horror! – that they are anything but. Burnham, who presumably is the sort of guy who buys cars because of the adverts or supports Everton because he likes the colour of their shirts, now proposes that most Labour of solutions to the pressing national crisis posed by Coco Pops and Frosties: banning them.

So far, so typically socialist. But, just as I was busy dusting off my John Prescott “fat” jokes, in wades Jeremy Hunt, that gift to budding poets everywhere. Hunt, a man who even from this distance doesn’t immediately strike one as the smartest person ever to pass through the doors of the Palace of Westminster, was not to be outdone in the pointless finger-wagging department. “My message to the supermarkets and the food manufacturers is that we will of course consider legislation”, he warned. “But we want to give you a chance to put your house in order and make sure that we are not shovelling sugar down the throats of young children and storing up problems for the future.”

[ … ]

It’s a classic wedge tactic, designed to inveigle the state into yet another area of our life where it has no goddamned business being, in the full knowledge that once there it will be all but impossible to dislodge, like one of those little fish in the Amazon that swim into your cock and then deploy barbs to prevent you winkling it out. That’s what Andy Burnham is like. He’s like a Brazilian cock-fish.

That’s probaly one of the kinder descriptions of Mr. Burnham you are likely to see.

I must check out Obnoxio the Clown sometime, he still blogs occasionally.

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Has Blogging Finally Died?

My traffic to this blog has gone down the pan. I have not been doing a lot to promote my blog recently I admit. So what is he complaining about? you might well ask.

The reason I stopped putting the effort in is there seems to be nothing I can do attract readers now. Since Google introduced it’s Panda and Penguin updates to the algorithm all the old search engine optimisation techniques just do not have any effect. This is not my view alone but an emerging concensus at web master forums I visit.

Now I have never liked Google or the two guys who founded it, those semi autistic little neo – Nazi tic turds Larry Page and Sergei Brin. From day one it was obvious they were a couple of world domination freaks who should have been the Google worshippers strangled at birth.

I know I will upset a lot of people by saying that; strangely the Google worshippers tend to be the very same people who are always banging on about how logical and rational they and how they are too intelligent to believe in God. Don’t they realise that by letting their solipsistic little minds endow a search engine with divine omnipotence, omnipresence and omniesence they have simply created a high tech god that is as irrational as those of the traditional religions. Oh well, critical thinking was never a strength of the cupid stunts who are obsessed with science and technology.

Google is a god to its fans, the technology sheeple. Once you understand that it is easy to be sceptical about the claims Google made for Panda and Penguin: the first was allegedly intended to shift emphasis from links to content thus removing the incentive for comment spam, the second to downgrade low quality sites such as link farms and content scrapers (who steal the original content of other sites).

Now either Google failed catastrophically (not previously unknown) or they were lying (not previously unknown either), as bloggers we all know the comment spammers are busier than ever and forums at Web Pro News are full of people who have tested search resutls and proved junk content sites of the type that are likely to generate good revenue for Google have actually benefitted from measures that we were told should penalise them.

Another factor Google have raised in importance that works against us hobbyists is the current version of the algorithm rewards those pages that are updated frequently. So Google have now introduced an incentive for content spam which is why you might have noticed a lot of pages featuring gibberish that is in fact computer generated content (try reading any of this and you soon understand it is an act of mercy to kill those geeks who believe computers will soon be able to think like humans.

So when you get down to it, we’ve no chance.

This blog will keep going because while businesses use it for spammy posts to promote their crappy products Google will love it and my content will get indexed quickly when linked from here. But quality will decline, as it has across the web since Google’s crappy search technology that penalises good writing and relevant information and rewards spam and advertising shite first appeared.

If you want to help reverse this trend towards the crappification of everything, act now. Think for yourselves, don’t let machines tell you what to do. You’re a human being.

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Who Should You Trust

Today as I contemplate the future of boggart Blog or to be more honest copy all our back catalogue onto my computer’s hard drive before Populis go Greece, I can only point to to Captain Ranty’s blog on who we can trust.

“Inspired by Ms Raccoon I thought I’d have a crack at this unsavoury nut.

To get to where I am right now, all you have to do is ask yourself, honestly, “Who do I trust?”.

Your list, (if you are anything like me), will be shockingly short. That itself is an indictment as to”

Take a look. If the post makes you smile the first comment will make you roar laughing.

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We Should Never Have Cloed The Asylums

After a couple of days in hospital, nothing serious – I was a more risk from NHS incompetence but more of that when I hit my stride, I returned to find this among my comments.

pounds till payday (Visitor)
xxxx://xxx.toppaydayloans.org.uk/
hi there, url. Great info about payday loans

Now I always feel a bit of sympathy for the people who post this stuiff as they try to earn third world wages by spamming comment threads.

Buu people lacking the basic nous to substitute greenteeth.blog.co.uk for url deserves to be banged un on a secure unit for the safety of themselves and others, mostly themselves.

Is there any way of being polite to a troll

Walrus was blogging today about Political Correctness trying to censor the web. It seems at the excellent blog The Register Politically Correct commenteers have kicked off about idiot level comment poster being referred to as “commentards” as this is offensive to people with learning difficulties.

The PC brigade are being hypersensitive as usual because it it highly unlikely any retards would be reading The Register.

It reminded me of another bout of wailing and gnashing of teeth I witnessed recently at the Independent website. There the terminally self righteous mob were complaing about people who call negative and disruptive comments “troll”. This, they insisted might be offensive to physically unprepossessing people or munters in the vernacular.

All this politically correct crap means us bloggers are walking through a minefied with every post. Boggart Blog discissed the topic at our editorial meeting this morning and decided that to avoid causing offence we would stick to calling people who piss us off “The scum sucking spawn of a pox whore’s scab lice.”

trollA typical web user ZuckerfuckerAn ugly, evil, retarded troll

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The Relative Nature Of Poverty and the PS2 Football Game

I see the politicians are banging on about child poverty again. Cry Baby Clegg and that Tory Baldie-boke whose name I cannot remember but it sounds like an intestinal disease have been talking about social mobility and child poverty.

Boggart Blog does not approve of child poverty of course, so we believe children should be put to work to earn their own living if their families can’t provide for them. Our solution is shown in this article, A Crisis A Child Could Solve.

Unfortunately the rope sandal wearing, tree hugging lefties are even more opposed to the idea of working class people having to work for a living than they are to children being poor. So we think our simple idea to end child poverty will be stymied.

Where does that leave Clegg and that Irritable Duodenum Syndrome bloke? Well poverty is relative so we suggest all they need is a bit of perspective.

Obiously the child of a single mother living on a sink estate cannot have the same expectations as the child of a billionaire. So we suggest banning all advertising as it only raises unrealistic hopes.

With no adverts to warp their perception we predict the negotiations for a child’s birthday present may go like this.

Sink Estate Mum: What do you want for your birthday yer whining li’le shit?

Child: A Subbuteo set Mum.

SE Mother: No.They’re very expensive, I cantn’t afford one, we’re povs. If I went without cheap cider and fags for a year I still wouldn’t have enough money. But I’ll get you a blow football game from the car boot sale. It’s much more fun.

*********
Call Center Worker Mum: What do you want for your Birthday Son?

Child: Can I have a PS2 and a Pro Evo Football game?

CCW Mum: Sorry, those things are very expensive, innit. But I can get you a Subbuteo set. They are much more fun, you can get your mates round and have league and cup tournaments and go in internet forums and get groomed by paedos like what miggle class kids do…
***********

Mondeo Man Dad: What do you want for your Britday son?

Child: Can I have a Subbuteo Dad?

MM Dad: No you effing can’t.

Child: Aw Dad, you said…

MM Dad: Never mind what I said. Only nerds and paedos have them. If I get you one people will think we’re povs. You can have a PS2 and a Pro Evo Premier League football game and effing well like it.

***********

Arab Oil Sheik: What do you want for your birthday son.

Child: Can I have a new PS2 and a Pro Evo football game and a season ticket for a Premiership team and a 60″ Plasma TV with Sky Soprts so I can watch all the televised game.

Arab Oil Shiek: No sorry son, the Prophet, Peace Be Upon Him, says we must suffer in this life if we want to be accepted in theaven by Allah. You can have Manchester City.

**********

With the Boggart Blog system for abolishing child poverty nobody is happy but every child is equally unhappy. Boggart Blog, working towards a fairer world.