Poles Are Cocksuckers – Says Polish Politician

What would we bloggers do without the efforts of technically illiterate mainstream politicians like Labour’s Chuka Ummuna, (yesterday) making an utter twat of himself by saying people only vote for UKIP because they are technically illiterate, then being revealed as a hypocrite by his own email account displaying his technical incompetence and now Polish Foreign Minister, Radoslaw Sikorski, has proving his “political realism” (his words not ours) in a brilliant open mic incident in which he compared his country’s relations with the US to unrewarding oral sex, the Russian Foreign ministry commented.

sikorski full polish
Radoslaw Sikorski demonstrate how to give “full Polish” using a sausage – well this is a family blog

In a leaked recording of a private conversation, Sikorski said that Warsaw’s alliance with Washington is worthless and even damaging as it “creates a false sense of security in Poland,” as cited by Wprost which published excerpts from the alleged exchange between Sikorski and Jacek Rostowski, an MP and former finance minister.

Leaked tape has Polish FM comparing ties with US to giving oral sex – Russia Today

“We will get a conflict with both Russians and Germans, and we’re going to think that everything is great, because we gave the Americans a blowjob,” Sikorski reportedly said.

According to Wprost, Sikorsky called the Poles “total cocksuckers” for their stance and repeated the phrase “complete bullshit” numerous times during the conversation.

“The essence of Sikorski’s statements indicates his political realism, it’s is probably a kind of a response to the offensive and rude remarks by [Assistant Secretary of State for Europe Victoria] Nuland about the European Union,” the Russian Foreign Ministry later said in a comment as cited by RIA Novosti.

Back in February, a leaked phone call revealed Nuland saying “f**k the EU” as she was discussing the shape of the future Ukrainian government with the US ambassador to Kiev.

Sikorski’s words came as a shock for many in Poland as the minister has always been known as a fierce critic of Moscow and passionate supporter of stronger ties with Washington.

all we can say is you’d think a country that has a former rent boy as its President would be keen to forge stronger links with a nation of cocksuckers

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Conspiracy Theory Bloggers To Blame For Terrorism, Debt Crisis, Smelly Farts and everything – official.

The corporate – financial cartel controlled media is now claiming Boston Bomber Tamerlan was influenced by online conspiracy sites.

Let’s not go anywhere close to anything that might bemall a s part of the truth or raise even the teeniest hint of a slight possibility that there may be just a smidgin of anger involved over daily news stories of his fellow Muslims, including innocent woman and children, being slaughtered by endless drone strikes. Unmanned drones are more provocative to a mindset that is still driven by honour, vengeance and tribal loyalty. A man with an AK47 can shoot at a bomber plane. He will not hit the pilot but he might feel better. But a drone is seen as a cowardly weapon because its pilot is hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away.

Using drones as the main strike weapon is bound to provoke terror attacks.

And of course neither this nor any other terrorist attack on the USA or its interests could possibly have anything to do with the unequivocal support for Israel despite repeated documented war crimes and with hundreds of UN resolutisons against Israel being blocked by a single veto vote – The United States.

But what of these ‘conspiracy websites’. Well Boggart Blog is not one although we try our best and have actually made it onto a couple of the nuttier hate lists which publish conspiracy theories about how politically incorrect blogs are all funded by Big Koch. But how are conspiracy sites to blame? Did Jeff Rense, What Really Happened, David Icke, Steve Quayle, Activists Post, Before It’s News or conspiracy forums like Above Top Secret radicalise the Chechen boys? Did they publish reams of Jihadist propaganda. Did Dick Puddlecote Anna Raccoon or Guido Fawkes promise 72 virgin houri to martyrs? Did Obnoxio The Clown describe Barack Obama and his government as ‘cunts’? (Obnoxio describes everyone as cunts.) How did American and British liberatrian bloggers who often complain about the Islamisation of our societies influence a couple of nutters to Bomb the Boston marathon?
Or was it that those bloggers and web publishers who refuse to be told what they can and cannot discuss are pissing of the corporate – financial cartel because while nobody trusts mainstream media, politicians, scientists, lawyers or anybody who claims authority any more, bloggers get people thinking and talking.

So there you have it, none of the United States actions that Muslims perceive as attacks against Islam are to blame for terrorism. Oh no, it’s those nasty Conspiracy Theory bloggers, it’s all their fault. The American government and mainstream media are not paranoid, only a nutty right wing conspiracy theorist would say they are.

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Andy Burnham, Children’s Saviour Or Cock Fish Asks Mr. Eugenides

Good to see one of the more hilariously foul mouthed bloggers from pre – 2010 is still in the game. Mr Eugenides, the bad tempered baby blogger is blogging at Think Scotland. Here’s a sample:

The latest insult to our intelligence emanates from Andy Burnham, a pair of eyelashes that used to be in the Government. By his own account, he is a fuckwit of limited intelligence. He buys cereals and soft drinks, thinking because of their marketing that they are healthy, but then discovers – to his horror! – that they are anything but. Burnham, who presumably is the sort of guy who buys cars because of the adverts or supports Everton because he likes the colour of their shirts, now proposes that most Labour of solutions to the pressing national crisis posed by Coco Pops and Frosties: banning them.

So far, so typically socialist. But, just as I was busy dusting off my John Prescott “fat” jokes, in wades Jeremy Hunt, that gift to budding poets everywhere. Hunt, a man who even from this distance doesn’t immediately strike one as the smartest person ever to pass through the doors of the Palace of Westminster, was not to be outdone in the pointless finger-wagging department. “My message to the supermarkets and the food manufacturers is that we will of course consider legislation”, he warned. “But we want to give you a chance to put your house in order and make sure that we are not shovelling sugar down the throats of young children and storing up problems for the future.”

[ … ]

It’s a classic wedge tactic, designed to inveigle the state into yet another area of our life where it has no goddamned business being, in the full knowledge that once there it will be all but impossible to dislodge, like one of those little fish in the Amazon that swim into your cock and then deploy barbs to prevent you winkling it out. That’s what Andy Burnham is like. He’s like a Brazilian cock-fish.

That’s probaly one of the kinder descriptions of Mr. Burnham you are likely to see.

I must check out Obnoxio the Clown sometime, he still blogs occasionally.

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Technology To Help You Commit Adultery

Over the past few years, as many people rushed to join the army of cupid stunts cool people whose main interface with reality was via their smart phone, inveterate womanizers and serial adulterers in Japan have remained faithful to a flip phone that provides a level of technology considered not only obsolete but terminally uncool; Fujitsu’s “F-Series” phones, which feature some privacy features indispendsible to people who shag around.

The aging handset nicknamed the “uwaki keitai” or “infidelity phone” owes its enduring popularity to customers who don’t believe newer smartphones are as discreet at hiding their illicit romances.

A Japanese blogger who goes by the name Bakanabe and writes anonymously about picking up women, said he looked into buying a new device but found the privacy settings fell short of his current phone. Instead, he opted to refurbish his battered, three-year-old Fujitsu flip-phone with a new casing and a new battery.

“Women may want to check my phone for strange emails or calls when I’m not around. With Fujitsu’s ‘privacy mode,’ they can’t see that information at all,” he said in an email. “The key is to give off the impression that you’re not locking your phone at all.”

Fujitsu’s “privacy mode” is a layer of nearly invisible security that hides missed calls, emails and text messages from contacts designated as private. If one of those acquaintances gets in touch, the only signal of that communication is a subtle change in the color or shape of how the battery sign or antenna bars are displayed. If ignored, the call doesn’t appear in the phone log.

The changes are so subtle that it would be impossible to spot for an untrained eye. When the privacy mode is turned off through a secret combination of keys, the concealed calls and messages appear, and voice mail becomes accessible.

This comes in handy to another blogger who calls himself “Poza.” He claims to have various romances on dating sites while juggling three girlfriends. He said he was introduced to the Fujitsu phone nearly five years ago and uses the privacy features to keep from getting caught. He says he recently bought an iPhone, but giving up his Fujitsu phone to carry just a smartphone is “unthinkable.”

“In terms of keeping my cheating hidden, this does more than enough,” he wrote in an email. Poza, who says he works for a design company in western Japan, declined to provide his real name.

“If Tiger Woods had this Japanese feature in his phone, he wouldn’t have gotten in trouble,” said Mr. Natsuno, now a professor at Keio University’s Graduate School of Media and Governance.

The phones, though, aren’t available outside Japan which is totally unfair. Boggart Bloggers and our readers want them and we want them NOW!

Adultery Japanese Style – video

If Your Beard Infringes Copyright, Shave Now!

Experience has shown Russian mathematician and blogger Mikhail Verbitsky that there’s a price to be paid for being flippant about about peiople’s beards. This is bad news for Boggart Blogas in the past we have blogged about beards of terror, beards of mass destruction and improvided explosice beards.

“So what’s the deal with beards and copyright?” you might well ask. It is a typoical tale of Russian secret police, subversion, sensitivity and whiskers.

Verbitsky was on his way to a mathematics conference in Warsaw last week when he was seized by border guards at Sheremetyevo Airport and hustled into a detention cell. The grim faced guards took his passport and shuttled him from room to room without explanation, until at last one suggested that Verbitsky check the bailiff’s website to see whether he was in debt.

Sure enough, there he was — a debtor, convicted in absentia for copyright infringement. As a consequence, he is barred from leaving Russia until he pays 300,000 rubles ($10,000) on charges he’d never heard of.

The charge, Verbitsky later learned, is fr the result of a July 2006 blog post in which he ridiculed an ultranationalist named Igor Pugach using an image and text from Pugach’s website.

In the passage, Pugach, who refers to himself alternately as the “commander of the Order of Moscow,” “his majesty” and the “prince of Tenkinsky,” accused Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho of violating copyrights by wearing a goatee, a style of beard that Pugach claims is his intellectual property and a part of Russia’s cultural heritage.

“The website is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on the Internet,” Verbitsky said. “Pugach is suing everybody because of a beard. He believes he owns the idea of beards, essentially.”

Pugach has accused Russian rock star Andrei Makarevich, former U.S. Ambassador to Russia John Beyrle and scores of others of copyright infringement. Verbitsky, who wears a full beard and not a goatee, said he was probably convicted for using the trademarked image of Pugach’s bearded visage without permission, not merely for sporting a beard himself.

A Pugach associate said the wearing of a goateeny beard that could be shaved into a goatee, of even possession of equipment that could be used in the growing of a goatee (i.e. a chin and male hormones) constituted a violation of Pugach’s copyright.

“The beard is an element of a trademark,” said the man, who refused to identify himself but said he was not Pugach (well he would, wouldn’t he?). “Nobody has the right to use it without permission.”

He also denied Verbitsky’s claim that Pugach, whose name means popgun, had sued scores of celebrities and lost every time.

“Pugach hasn’t sued any actors or musicians,” he said.
We wonder what the legal definition of a goatee is. I mean, OK Guy Fawkes had one but do those facial hair fashions that involve a small trisngle of hair under the lower lip and make the wearer look like he has a little minge under his mouth count as copyright infringement. And what about teenage boys with a bit of bumfluff on their chin like Shaggy in Scooby Doo?

I’m clean shaven so I don’t care but beardies need legal clarification of this now.

The charge against Verbitsky has caused much ROTFLMAO in the blogosphere, where bloggers were quick to point out Pugach’s extreme nationalist politics make a mockery of his global crusade to control the goatee with the help of his company, Boroda, or in English, Beard.

Verbitsky however isn’t taking it lightly.

“It looks like a joke, but it’s absolutely not a joke,” he wrote on his blog after he was detained. “I need a lawyer, a professional lawyer.”

Your Boggart Blog correspondent thinks Pugarch needs professional help too but not necessarily from a lawyer. Is pognophilia a recognised mental illness.

Read more: http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/article/mathematician-slapped-with-travel-ban-at-request-of-bearded-prince/457074.html#ixzz1vL1KCYLR
The Moscow Times

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Phil Spector To Join Brown’s Media Team?

Hot on the heels of Damien McBride’s departure from the government public relations role he has fulfilled for some time Boggart Blog, thanks to our mole embedded in the government, can bring you news of a surprising and audacious move to replace McBride and his discredited sidekick Dolly Draper.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown is expected to announce in the next few days that American record producer, convicted murderer and veteran mentalist Phil Spector will take over the job of head of Communications for Downing Street.

Brown, whose reputation is in tatters following the revelation that his press team were making up scandals about leading Tories. “Cameron has clap” and “George Osborne” is a shirt lifter were two of the stories they planned to leak. What is really damaging for the government is they are so out of touch with reality they think they have to make up stories to discredit leading conservatives.

Where the NuLab media team really failed though is in admitting what they were up to and started blaming each other when uberblogger Guido Fawkes broke the allegations of jiggery pokery. In politics it is traditional when faced with accusations that they are telling tales about opponents embarrassing diseases or financial misdemeanours parties close ranks and meet the criticism with a wall of silence.

It is this failure that is though to have influenced the Prime Minister to invite Phil Spector to take the job on. Spector is most famous for shooting people or pointing loaded guns at their head but is also well known for creating the “Wall Of Sound.” The reason is if the government ramps up the volume of briefings on initiatives, crackdowns, schemes to save the world and justifications for assaults on our civil liberties all backed with oversized rhythm sections, saxophones and strings everyone will just start treating bad news as background music and the likes of your Boggart Bloggers and the estimable Mr. Fawkes will be left blogging in a void.

Perception is everything but deception is more.

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