Every time I turned on the radio over the weekend I heard Richard Madeley, the fuckwit half of Richard and Judy promoting his book. If I hear Richard whining again about how his father once hit him when he was a child Ill hit him myself.
The thing is you see, if I had been Richards Dad I would have hit him every day. Richard my boy, you have that effect on people. Youre a knob. Deal with it.
Staying with Richard and Judy, on tevevision over the weekend a Canadian stand-up said; Every time I see Richard Madeley I cant help but admire what he does. There is no way I could ever work with my Mother Cruel but funny.
Funniest moment of the year though was on the Peter Kay extravaganza the title of which I am not even going to try to remember. A dog act was auditioning for the spoof talent show but the dog would not jump through the hoop. Other acts came and went but every couple of minutes we went back to the dog as it gazed uncomprehendingly as its trainers attempts to coax it through the hoop.
Finally the man looked closely at the animal and said to the judges; Sorry, Ive brought the wrong fucking dog.
I dont know why but it makes me laugh hysterically every time I think of it.