So Turing Got It Wrong?

I encounter many articles from sources between eager geeks, silicon valley billionaire pasychopaths and highly qualified academics on topics related to artificial intelligence, neural networks and deep learning. But as they witter on about algorithms, big data and ever more powerful computers they do not seem to grasp  there is more to human conscious intelligence which we are nowhere near to understanding but which must be understood if we are to to model human intuition.

The Turing Test, developed in the 1950s by computer pioneer Alan Turing was intended to discriminate between humans and machines by asking  certain questions of a machine or a human and observing answers which a human is expected to give and that would be impossible for a machine to answer. We can consider this emotional intelligence as an area the machine would not be able to understand.

The only machine yet claimed to have passed the test was presented to judges as a 12 year old Ukrainian boy who had not been learning English for very long. Nothing like cheating to get the result you want is there? Machine learning models can learn some probabilistic parameters to come up with an output representations but cannot understand the emotions or expression or feelings behind a statement.

There is more than just probability estimation in human intelligence. A more relevant question is how can we model consciousness? If we could model consciousness,we could then have an understanding whether an individual is experiencing an emotion and that it will reflect in the way it is giving out those answers.

So the ultimate question is “How do we model Consciousness?”

That’s is the great question all the people who post on A I, neural networks, deep learning and the rest should be able to answer, but cannot.

We have no idea how human consciousness evolved, what triggered that leap from the mammal mind (some would say the mammal brain, because the mind is the home of that mystery which makes us human.) Both evolutionists and religionists agree there is “something” about humankind that separates us from even the large brained animals, but nobody can explain what a human mind actually is.

Some years ago I had an extended stay in hospital after a catastrophic brain haemorrhage. It took out about 35% of my brain tissue and the initial prognosis was there would be little left of what made me who I am. Amazingly my memory, together with language and cognitive skills survived almost intact (I was paralyzed on one side but I was still me.) Nobody was offering explanations though I asked many times, wanting to understand what had happened to me, until some months later, while talking to an endocrinologist who was investigating the blood disorder that had led my blood pressure to spike, and he said, “We are only just beginning to understand that the brain and the mind are two very different things.”

What is the human mind? How does it relate to the brain? Dogs, Chimpanzees and Dolphins can be playful and can relate to members of other species, but they cannot handle abstract ideas. Why do we not see animals with minds? There are no physical characteristics of the human brain that suggest they provide thecreative and processing power that defines human thought and problem solving skills.

If we think of just a few of the qualities which make homo sapiens sapiens (literally ‘man who knows he knows’) unique among all living creatures we start to get an idea of the magnitude of task facing those who aspire to create human — like intelligence in a computer.

I have always said, “the only way we can hope to create true artificial intelligence is by radically redefining what we mean by intelligence.”


Don’t be Evil, Google Will Do It For You

computer brain interfacePicture Source: Planet Science

Google engineering director Scott Huffman, talking about the company’s plans, revealed that within five years people will have microphones attached to their ceilings and microchips embedded in their brains in order to perform quicker internet searches. Gobsmacking isn’t it, to see how determined these people are that we should become humandroids like The Borg in Star Trek.

In an interview with the Independent newspaper, Huffman said Google was working towards a technology based around microphones hanging from the ceiling that would respond to verbal queries.

“Like a great personal assistant, it will interrupt you and say ‘ you’ve got to leave now’. It will bring you the information you want,” said Huffman, adding that “five years from now….Google will answer you the same way a person would answer.” Well great, if like Google executives you are incapable of thinking and need to be told by a machine what you think.

Just imagine you are a football fan watching your your favourite team on television. It’s a Champions League match. To progress to the knockout stage your team must win. They are leading one nil with a minute to go when the opponents striker goes down in the penalty area. The ref points to the penalty spot.

“Oh FUCK!” you exclaim. And Google hijacks your optic nerve and selections from You Porn dot com flood your field of vision. Obviously the Google boys have not thought this trough properly but then, do they ever think things through.

When challenged on the likelihood of such a system being vulnerable to government surveillance systems via the software portals we now know are built into processors, Huffman glibly responded that people should just trust Google, a company that allowed the NSA to mine data from its cloud network “at will”, a company that has announced it sees no reason why users should be entitled to privacy, a company whose previous CEO is on record as saying, “We intend to go as close to creepy as possible without crossing the line,” Trust Google to safeguard our information? Do these semi austistc bell – ends think we are all as insane as they are?

Mr Huffman, confesses rather wistfully that he does not have a chip in his head yet (a pity, because his brain is addled, but hey – if as an early adopter he has already, perhaps, taken delivery of his robot fuck buddy and is enjoying the first meaningful relationship.) He has been working on refining search technology for 15 years and says he aims to do away with the clunky physical act of typing requests into Google’s search box which will gradually recede almost to nothing. So apart from having every random though misunderstood and acted on, we will all have to communicate in the terse monotone of Silicon Valley geeks too. I know from experience voice recognition software cannot handle regional accents, homonyms, homophones, colloquialisms, and variations in pronunciation.

Huffman thinks information could be relayed via “a wearable device, perhaps it might have a small screen, which you can only interact with through your voice and maybe touch but nothing else”. He does not mention that while we are doing things we feel like doing, Google will be constantly getting into our heads and “nudging” us to do things it computers think we ought to be doing (i.e. things that earn revenue for Google,) based on the “model” its search engine has built of our lives by illegally snooping on us.

You have read above of the nightmare future Huffman and his sad, dysfunctional colleagues at Google want us to live in. I find it strange that dysfunctional computer nerds think we all want the same kind of sad, pathetic, joyless lives they lead.

Let’s save our humanity, boycott Google now.

Facebook Are Nazis – We Told You So


Boggart AbroadDaily Stirrer homeBoggart-Eft at Blogster Greenteeth BitesBoggart BlogGreenteeth LabyrinthIan at WikinutAuthorTold By An IdiotGatherBubblewsAuthorsdenScribdLittle Nicky Machiavelli
Ian Thorpe at Facebook


I Told Them Google Are Evil

When I said Google were an evil bunch of control freaks hellbent on world domination they called be a conspiracy theorist. When I said the Google corporate motto in full is “Don’t be evil, that’s our job,” they said I was paranoid.

Funny how little things keep creeping out of the woodwork that leave no room for doubt Google and other technology corporations, in collaboration with government security agencies, are creeping toward technology led fascism.

The laptop was the first portable internet-connected device that freed up millions to be stalked by the internet 24/7 rather than chained to the desk eight hours a day. Next was the smartphone, which didn’t really take off until Apple opened it up to developers and allowed the creation of applications that steal you money while fooling you into thinking you are having fun and made the smartphone the oppressive monster it is today. Then came to tablet computer and though Jobs little jobbie was too pricey and too underspecified to appeal to anyone except fanboys and wankers, rival using Google’s Android front end became the choice for business.

Earlier this year Goolge introduced wearable technology in the limited release of Googlegoggles (Google Glass), which proved a step to far for many bar and restaurant owners who sparked a race relations row by banning human / robot hybrids from their premises. The head-mounted display of Google glass puts Google adverts and “suggestions” (you will obey, you will obey) right in your fucking face whatever you are doing.

Now we have smartwatches. Samsung has a smartwatch, and Google, Apple and Microsoft are buying up companies that have patented smartwatch technology or are hiring engineers to create it. Smartwatch technologies are supposed to work in tandem with mobile phones and computers to become the third leg of the “smart” ecosystem. WTF can a smartwatch do that my forty year old Tissot and a bog standard cellphone can’t do for me and I can’t do for myself?

With wearable fitness gadgets that sense heartbeat, pulse, the number of steps you take, and the quality and duration of your sleep, it’s just a matter of time before technology gets in your head … and that is right. where Google are planning on going next. Yes,hardware and software engineers working for the universe’s creepiest and most evil corporations are working on a chip that can be implanted in the skull and interfaced directly with the central nervous system

CNET reports, “Google has a plan. Eventually it wants to get into your brain. ‘When you think about something and don’t really know much about it, you will automatically get information,’ Google CEO Larry Page said in Steven Levy’s book, In the Plex: How Google Thinks, Works and Shapes Our Lives. ‘Eventually you’ll have an implant, where if you think about a fact, it will just tell you the answer.’

but what if I don’t want an answer. What if I am thinking about a nice big juicy steak and a glass of Chateauneuf du Pape. I just want to think about them, I don’t want to know the chemical composition. And if I was thinking about Kelly’s boobs how they feel in my hands and Google interrupted there would be mayhem I promise you.

Are you a slave to the machines? Do you run out and buy a new iPhone whenever one is launched? Would you wear Google Glass and have Google in your face all day. Do you feel you must have a smartwatch whatever the fuck they are? Would you like to be able to think of something and have an implantable computer in your head to provide some additional resources to complete your thoughts? Be sure that if your thoughts did not lead to your doing something that would shove a bit of revenue Google’s way, your own thoughts would be overridden by Google’s

“You don’t really want to take Kelly to bed, you want to browse the web and click through on some Google adsense ads…”


Technology is on our bodies, and the evil ones want to put it into our bodies! Let’s hope anonymous can hack our heads and release us.

Google wants to change the way you see the world

Is Your Liver Eating Your Brain?

People who have too much fat around their middle are three times more likely than slender people to develop memory loss and dementia. And now a new study shows why: Their livers are “eating” their brains, reported Live Science on October 15.

The researchers claim that the liver and the hippocampus (the memory center in the brain) both need a protein called PPARalpha (sounds like a made up name). The bigger a person’s belly gets the more PPARAlpha the liver needs and the less there is to share round While the liver uses PPARalpha to burn belly fat, the hippocampus uses PPARalpha to process memory. And that’s a problem for people with excess belly fat.

In such individuals, the liver works frantically to metabolize the fat in the case of american livers, fails dismally), thereby using up all of the essential PPARalpha. After consuming that all supplies of that protein located near the itself, the liver goes scavenging around the rest of the body, including the brain, explained the scientists.

Somehow we get the impression that the people behind this research all had enormous bellies and very little brain left.

False Memories

It would be scare were it not so comical.Neuroscientists working on Sidi Barack Hussein Obama’s brain mapping project claim they have implanted false memories in the barins of mice.

The phenomenon of false memory has been well-documented: In many court cases, defendants have been found guilty based on witness testimony from people who were absolutely sure of their recollections, but forensic evidence later overturned the conviction.

A project aimed at understanding how these faulty memories arise, carried out at Massachusetts Institute Of Technolog has led neuroscientists to claim they can plant false memories in the brains of mice in such a way that neurological traces of these memories are identical in nature to those of authentic memories.

“Whether it’s a false or genuine memory, the brain’s neural mechanism underlying the recall of the memory is the same,” says Susumu Tonegawa, the Picower Professor of Biology and Neuroscience and senior author of a paper describing the findings in the July 25 edition of Science.

Now I would not think mice have many memories, they might remember eating some cheese or bacon fat or have a strong recollection of chocolate but it’s doubtful they would even remember reading Stella Gibbons’ Cold Comfort Farm, never mind finding it easier to make sense of than Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast. Nor would they have particulatly painful recollections of the day their dear old Grand Dad Mouse died.

So what kind of false memories are we talking about. To Boggart Blog’s way of thinking, these experiments are years behind the ones that have been conducted on politicians. For example Ian Duncan Smith remembers with great certainty that he was once leader of the Conservative Party, William Hague is absolutely sure he once drank sixteen pints of beer in a day, Charles Kennedy will be absolutely clear he was once sober and Harriet Harperson thinks she was once a woman.

Now that’s what we call implanting false memories.

Google Come Over All Boomtown Rats

I Don’t Like Mondays

The silicon chip insider her head
is switched to overload
and nobody’s going to go to school today,
she’s going to make them all stay home …

Remember the words of The Boomtown Rats biggest hit (their only hit in the USA)?

Well it’s about to become reality in a literal rather than a metaphorical sense thanks to Google (Corporate slogan “Don’t be evil, that’s our job,) and their latest world domination scheme.

A few months ago Boggart Blog reported on the launch of Google Goggles, aka Google Glass, a technology that would get Google’s advertising and propaganda right in users faces twenty four hours a day.

Just think, when you are eating luch, when you are making love, when you are having a dump, right before your eyes Google are there hinting, nudging, suggesting. Totally creepy, it can’t get any more creepy right? Wrong.

Those semi autistic, neo – Nazi scum suckers at Google now have plans to get right inside your head. That’s right, their latest product in development is a silicon chip that would be implanted inside peoples’ heads to interface directly with their brain.

As usual Google’s sleazy marketing people have come up with a pitch that make it easy to brand objectors as anti – social, they say the idea would help disabled people drive wheelchairs. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKK but that is not likely to sell enough to recoup development costs so what’s the real agenda?

Boycott Google now. They make Adolf Hitler look like Mother Teresa, that’s how evil they are. Here’s a list of alternative web search tools (ignore Alta Vista, tey have just been absorbed into Yahoo. But really you need look no further than Bing, Ask Jeeves or Web Crawler which aggregates other search engine’s data. Another listing site also offers some little known search technologies that grade results by relevance rather than how much revenue they are likely to earn is 10 Mose Useful Search Engines

Use the alternatives and you will get better information and be able t eat you luch, make love or have a dump without constant hints and helpful advice from Google.

A Generation Of Piss Heads

Gotta love those scientists, they just get whackier and whackier. And at the moment medical science leads the way.

A new scientific study claims that human urine can be converted into brain cells. And the surprising discovery, described in a report that isn’t titles Piss For Brains but should be may extend beyond practical applications, allowing researchers to circumvent the controversial debate over stem cell research.

The study, published online in Nature Methods and conducted by a team led by Chinese stem-cell biologist Duanqing Pei, found that cells generated from human waste might someday be used to study disease and even in therapeutic treatments for neurodegenerative diseases.

Plus, there’s a potential added bonus to the discovery: Embryonic stem cells possess a high risk of developing tumors, which reportedly would not be an issue with cells taken from the urine samples.

It’s a sobering thought that every time we go for a slash we are pissing a bit of our future away.

Black Hat Biotech

Stating The Effing Obvious Industry Will Rebuild Our Economy

The government and the opposition have a big idea for rebuilding the economy. It is based on a delusional belief that the “scientific research” being carried on in Universities will lead to the creation of “intellectual properties” that can be “monetized” by entepreneurs.

While their zealots’ faith in science and technology can be admired (if only for the depth of it’s detachment from reality) can anyone see people in the developing world paying for the patented knowledge that, to cite an example from one of our recent reports, if you feed mice a diet of deep fried lard with lard sauce and a side order of lard and then take away their mouse wheel so they can’t exercise they get fat. Or for example that the human brain is very complicated as one research team found last year;

or that in spite of the hundred of very clever but lacking in nous people around the world studying the Universe and all the gobsmacking squilliobs of pounds, dollars and Euros spent on their efforts to understand the Universe we actually know fuck all about it in relation to what there is to know and worse, as one recent research project showed everything we thought we knew is wrong. Are people going to pay for stuff like that?

Are millions of jobs in mouse science and star gazing going to be created for nerds with personal hygiene issues, bad skin and an unhealthy obsession with vitual sex? And if so where will we recruit enough of such people?

One team of researchers, not British admittedly, last week proved the futility of science and showed the existentialist philosophers are right and everything is indeed pointless. They launched a project which will use lots os stupendously expensive brain scanners operated by lots of stupendously expensive people in an attempt to learn why people like to read boooks and magazines.

Bearing in mind I have no qualifications in psychology or any other medical science, nor do I have a brain scanner at my disposal, I am going to run a spoiler by revealing the answer:

People like to read books and magazines because it gives them pleasure.

I wonder how I can patent and monetize that piece of intellectual property.

No Real Jobs In The New Economy
Worm In The Apple iPhone

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

A Career In Substance Abuse? Sounds Just The Job.

Here in the Boggart Blog editorial office we love flipping through the public sector recruitment supplement that comes with The Guardian every Wednesday.

Some of the jobs on offer by public authorities, quangos and charities are hilarious and though the salaries are not great it’s easy to get the idea that not much work will be required from the successful applicant.

How is Domestic Violence Action Co-ordinator going to occupy their time? Co-ordinating domestic violence by scheduling the wife beating activities of thugs so as to spread the load on A & E departments and ambulance services? Or if some bastard is ill or just exhausted, perhaps these jobs involve arranging for someone else to go round and beat his wife up for him?

Jobs in Domestic Violence have come up a few times recently.

Another of this weeks vacancies that has us all baffled is an advert for a Singing For The Brain Co-ordinator. WTF is singing for the brain. It is something to do with teaching lousy singers to not make any noise, just sing a song in their head. Or something more sinister perhaps, are the government encoding messages the Fibbonaci series values of musical tones and employing pitch – perfect singers to brainwash us all?

Just as baffling is the requirement for a female prostitution action worker (they’re nearly all co-ordinators or action workers, sometimes even action co-ordinators. Anyway, a female prostitution action worker, isn’t that just a pretentious way so saying “prozzers wanted.” Maybe not because the job description said the job holder would be “researching and developing strategies for dealing with the causes of demand for prostitution. Well that should take about five minutes. Too many sex starved blokes, not enough prostitutes. Sorted, can I have my year’s salary please?

A team of black and ethnic minority compact officers is needed in London. To compact black and ethnic minority people like they compact household waste? Isn’t that a tad racist? If member of ethic minorities are not compact enough they should only accept work permit applications from pygmies and Japanese. No Sumo wrestlers though. So pygmies, selected Japanese, San bushmen from the Namib desert. And Eskimos maybe, they are quite compact.

Pick of the week though was a full page dedicated to “careers in substance misuse.” That’s drug abuse in p0lain English

How do you get into a career in Substance Abuse? Well being called Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty or Keith Richards is a good start.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Skin Up A Toad
FESTIVAL! If you like to live outside the laws of time and space and can’t get a career in Substance Misuse sorted out for yourself, the physical dimension can be escapes for three days every June at the Glastonbury Festival.

and don’t forget all the other Greenteeth Multi Media pages…
Greenteeth Multi Media
Greenteeth Comedy Pages
A Tale Told By An Idiot
Ian at Authorsden